EP2-1 FULL：Qiu Rui về ranh giới của sự tấn công | STAND-UP COMEDY
Welcome, everyone, to the second season of “Stand-up Comedy and Their Friends” the second season of “Stand-up Comedy and Their Friends” Stage One Stage One Friendly Match 59 groups of contestants 1-on-1 knockout matches Let’s move on to the official matches of the second half I was truly amazed by her It was absolutely unexpected The two of them are so interesting here Suddenly, I feel like she’s on a roll On this stage counting all the years the coolest contestant I’ve ever seen No joke. Meituan Flash Delivery is arriving soon. Thanks to “A Sunny Tomato” for being the Tomato King inside. Jointly sponsored and broadcast. Welcome, everyone, to the second season of “Stand-up Comedy and Friends.” First stage of the competition. Thank you all for coming. This stage is called the Light Exchange Round. Currently, Teacher Luyu and Teacher Luo Yonghao have both used up their two “Wait” lights. They are all used up. Only Teacher Li Yuchun and Teacher Da Zhangwei still have the chance to let pending contestants wait a bit longer. Now, let’s move on to the official competition in the second half. The first group to take the stage for the head-to-head match is Wei Daye and Qiu Rui. Qiu Rui. Wei Daye. The first contestant to come on stage actually doesn’t even need to introduce himself. He has his own club. His club is full of talented people. It is widely praised. So, the manager of Xiaoma Comedy, Wei Daye, please welcome him with applause. Hello, everyone. I’m Wei Daye. Hello to the friends upstairs. After last year’s show aired, my life changed a lot. Many people reached out to me. Including my university. I went back on the university’s anniversary. I’m from the School of Liberal Arts. When I arrived at the School of Liberal Arts, our teachers welcomed me warmly. They gave me a gift bag. Inside was a cultural T-shirt, a red scarf, and two letters. I opened them to take a look. One of the letters was a thank-you note. Dear alumnus, welcome back to your alma mater. You left your youth here. You left your best years here. When I read this, I thought I had died here. Then I opened the second letter. Donation instructions. I probably should have died here. Seriously. At that moment, I felt completely numb. Because I’ve seen news like that before. I’ve seen those kinds of news stories. People go back to their school and say they donated tens of millions. The school uses that alumnus’s name to name a teaching building. I don’t have that much money. But even if I donated, and they named a building after me, it would be called “Grandpa Building.” It would feel just like a retirement home. Even if they used my club’s name, it would be called “Smile Building.” That doesn’t sound good either. After graduation, you’d immediately become a “nobody” in society. The teacher told me that next, there would be an offline event. I should go and attend it. We are from the School of Literature. We have an auditorium. There was a networking event inside. I was even assigned to sit in the front row. I also had to give a speech. I was really nervous at the time. Because I was worried that if an alumnus actually donated money, what would I do? Right? So I was very nervous. I was waiting there. Luckily, the seniors before me just expressed some nostalgia. Until the senior right before me — a senior from our School of Literature — who graduated ten years before me, stood up and said, Lei Jun returned to Wuhan University last year and donated 1.3 billion yuan. I thought, who asked you? What are you doing here? Are you the only one who can read? While I was hesitating, that guy continued speaking. Of course, we’re not as outstanding as Lei Jun. This time, I only brought 200 million yuan. My mind just exploded at that moment. Guys, that’s all I have to say. I’m up next. How am I supposed to follow that? All I can say is, I’m dead here. I might as well donate my body to the school. I was hesitating. I was sitting on pins and needles. Then that guy kept talking. These two hundred million of mine are memories of my youth and the bond between teachers and students. So we’re playing this game today, huh? Wow, you’ve got more than two hundred million. You’ve also got fake feelings and ingratitude. That’s four hundred million right there. Impressive. When our dean heard “two hundred million,” he immediately stood up. But when he heard the rest, he sat right back down. He quickly took it back. A real sign of respect. This professor who spent his whole life studying poetry and literature is a literature professor. As he sat down, he immediately cursed. Seriously, I thought, “Senior,” at that moment I wanted to give him ten million. I wanted him to leave and be very careful. Thank you, everyone. I’m Wei Daye. Thank you all. Bye-bye. Although the humor is lacking, the meaning is profound. It’s very meaningful. I still think it has its merits. Let me share some information with everyone. From last year until now, his “Xiaoma Club” has been run extremely well. Of course. How well, you ask? It’s now a new landmark in Changsha. It even has another nickname. It’s called the “Disneyland of Kaifu District.” Tickets are hard to get. How can it be run so well? “Grandpa Wei” changed his name to “Great Wei.” So amazing. First of all, I think it’s because the city of Changsha is pretty relaxed. And the performers from Changsha are actually very chill too. The ones everyone has seen, like the Manzai Brothers, Haha Cao, and some new faces you’ll see this year, are all pretty relaxed. It’s just that Changsha as a city gives us this kind of feeling. But we also have to thank our Changsha audience. Because our audience in Changsha is really great. Because usually, when we perform in other cities, there are rarely any late-night shows. Only in Changsha can we do late-night shows. The audience’s response is always really good. So I think we should thank Changsha and our friends in the audience here. Thank you to all of them. Once again, thank you to Wei Daye for the wonderful performance today. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. Wei Daye, please wait a moment in the lounge. Alright. The person who will compete with Wei Daye is this friend. He’s truly an old friend of stand-up. Long time no see. We’ve really missed you. Here he comes. Let’s give a warm welcome to Qiu Rui. Qiu Rui. Hello, everyone. I’m Qiu Rui. Okay. It’s been a while since I competed, so I’m a bit nervous. To be honest, as a contestant, this competition can only bring out the darker side of my nature. Normally, when someone writes a new joke, I’m genuinely happy for them. But once I step onto this competition stage, seeing so many newcomers, and so many good jokes, all I feel is there are too many women in the royal palace. At this moment, seeing my peers come up with a new joke feels just like a concubine competing for favor with you gets pregnant again, while I haven’t had a single child. I know, as sisters, I should be happy for her. But mostly, I just feel anxious. Looking at my own blank script, I kind of empathize with Consort Hua. I wonder why everyone else can have children, but I just can’t. I don’t know how others come up with new jokes. So I go to learn. I go watch Heideng’s show. The whole special is all about how his eyesight is bad. Honestly, for a moment, I wanted to cure his eyes. Standing on this competition stage my mindset gets twisted. Looking at all of you in the audience when you’re holding the voting devices, I feel like I’m standing in a pop-up window of a palace intrigue game, waiting for everyone to decide whether to save me or send me into exile. But you can’t survive in this business without competing. Last year, I didn’t make it on stage, and I was sent into someone else’s joke. Let me explain for those who haven’t seen it. Maodou wrote a weight loss joke and included me in it. Sorry. It’s okay. That’s all the background. You’ll understand everything from here on. Actually, after I saw that joke, I didn’t feel very offended. It’s comedy. But some people online felt offended on my behalf and sent me private messages saying “Qiurui, you should report Maodou right away for being vulgar and obscene.” Bro I can tell it’s vulgar I’m really not speaking up for Maodou It’s just that this joke of his if he doesn’t use me in it there’s no other way You guys definitely know this kind of joke that mentions someone’s name it always works best with the most popular people the more famous, the better the effect But the thing is when it comes to real big stars you don’t dare to include them If you don’t believe me, just take me out of his joke and randomly replace it with one of the top brothers the result would be terrifying If the joke airs at 7 o’clock by 7:01 the whole industry would be gone and the “inclusion” would end right there In the current online environment, it’s so hard to write a joke. At our script reading, we discussed the Maodou script. The first thing we talked about wasn’t how to revise it to make it funnier. It was who we could target without ending up trending. Usually, only the writers attend the script readings. But that time, even the legal team showed up. They said we absolutely can’t touch any trending topics. There’s a risk of getting a lawyer’s letter. So we made AI the plaintiff and simulated the consequences. Just how serious could it get? AI really dared to pass judgment. It immediately wanted to sue Maodou. House arrest. The PR team also came. They said if we write about our own people, don’t write about the opposite sex either. Even Xiao Jia is off-limits. Originally, Xiao Jia and Xiao Jia were such a great pun. Yes. Last year, I wrote a lot about Xiao Jia. In the end, I could only let him “pinch” me. I’m the only one for Maodou. The “pinched” people. Actually, the things Maodou can pinch with his butt are like the boundaries stand-up comedy can push. We discussed this privately. We wondered, besides me, is there a better solution? If someone gets pinched, they shouldn’t get criticized online. It should still get attention. Maybe even get praised by netizens. We thought about it for a long time. We only came up with one idea. That is, to pinch the “little devils” (Japanese). But when the directors heard I was going to talk about this, they got scared too. They said, mentioning “butt” so many times, would the platform restrict our traffic? Should we change it to “the area where the waist meets the legs”? Right? You just can’t find online a way of saying things that makes everyone happy. A textbook-perfect expression. Even textbooks online get criticized by some netizens. I saw before that “Dawn Blossoms Plucked at Dusk” was criticized. They said writing about carving the word “early” on a desk was destroying public property. I feel like if Lu Xun knew he was criticized for this reason, he’d want to add a grass radical on top of that “early” character. Now it’s only safe if I stay silent online. But our job depends on talking. So when something happens online, I usually don’t want to comment. But then someone tags you. Not long ago, there was this guy, who posted a short video singing off-key. Someone tagged me in it. They said, “Here’s some material for you.” I thought to myself, Is this really material? Isn’t this a coffin? I dare say, it was just awful. There were tens of thousands of comments. My feelings were just like the top comment. If you don’t say it, I won’t either. Is being funny the most important thing in stand-up now? Isn’t it safety? It’s too dangerous out there. I’m going back to Maodou. My waist and legs are connected now. Bye. Qiu Rui. Ticket lock countdown. Thanks again to Qiu Rui for his performance. Qiu Rui. How did you come up with writing this script? Qiu Rui. Thank Maodou. They let you out. I was planning to I’m sorry. Qiu Rui. I’m sorry. I wrote a piece about clenching your thighs. Yes, about clenching your thighs. So you’re speaking from personal experience. I think right now, everyone probably feels this way. Maybe creators feel it even more. It’s just that no matter what you say, you get criticized. Ordinary people don’t dare speak out with their main accounts. People get doxxed at the drop of a hat. It’s all these things. If it weren’t for the material about Maodou, this would have gotten heavier and heavier as I wrote. I’m still grateful to Maodou for letting me express this in a cheerful way. What I’ve always liked about Qiu Rui is he always finds a point that’s especially infuriating, and then stays angry for a whole 10-minute performance. But actually, he’s really impressive. It’s that his anger after it’s expressed, is still relatively safe. That’s really, really remarkable. It’s a creative ability. And about what was just said about boundaries, I really relate to that. Because after so many seasons, listening to stand-up, what we’ve gained is that our boundaries of acceptance are expanding. Your storytelling also broadens those boundaries. When we approach those boundaries, it’s not to hurt anyone, not to offend, but for ourselves. Together, we all have a space where we can breathe more easily —a space. So actually, after we listened, your anger may have been eased to some extent. We can also gain a feeling of breathing more freely. So this is a very very refreshing win-win situation. Qiu Rui is like rock music. He’s just awesome. Thank you. Thank you to our comedy friends for giving such great advice. At the same time, Wei Daye, let’s return to the stage. Let’s first take a look at the votes from the comedy friends. Qiu Rui is leading by a large margin. Now let’s see the voting results for the two performers. Qiu Rui: 260 votes. That’s a high number of votes. Congratulations to Qiu Rui. Advancement area. Wei Daye is in the pending area. Sorry, Qiu Rui. I shouldn’t have put you in a tough spot. Sorry. The two performers about to face off are Ace and Xiao Pa. It’s Ace’s first time on this stage. He said he’s especially afraid of awkwardness. So let’s, as quickly as possible, give a warm round of applause to ease his awkwardness. Please welcome Ace to the stage. Here he comes! Ace is here. From our Peking University. A sunny, cheerful young man. He’s also a current university student. A member of our representative team. That’s right. Hello, everyone. I’m Ace. Thank you, everyone. I’m a student. And in my daily life, I’m actually quite afraid of awkward situations. A lot of awkward things stay fresh in my memory even after a long time. The most embarrassing thing in my life happened in middle school. When we started school, they told us that our school wanted to encourage students to become more outgoing and to encourage students to show themselves. We had a system called “I Show Myself.” What does that mean? At our school, all the students when answering questions in class, didn’t need to raise their hands. You just stood up directly and said, “I show myself.” There’s more than just this one rule. If you notice something during someone else’s presentation and think there’s a problem, you should stand up and say, “I have a question.” If you think their question isn’t enough, you can stand up and say, “I’d like to add something.” When I heard about this system on the first day of school, only three words came to mind: “I want to transfer.” This is just too awkward. Especially the “I present” part. I’d be fine if it was just answering questions, but presenting… I feel like I’m a peacock. Then the teacher said, “Class, let’s try this ‘I present’ method and see how it goes.” Everyone, please answer the question. The whole class was silent for five minutes. After five minutes, you finally heard someone say, “I present.” It was our class study monitor. He stood up. And it was only after he stood up that he became the study monitor. Soon, the classmates around me started presenting one after another. This made me start to feel a bit anxious. I wondered whether I should present or not. It felt like a moment of decision. Either become part of the majority in the class, but then you are no longer part of the majority among humans. I hesitated for a long time. I clenched my teeth, and said I would present. It was only when I stood up that I realized I didn’t know how to solve the problem. It was hard to adapt. I was especially envious of my deskmate. He adapted very quickly to this way of presenting. He even seemed to have mastered it. One day, our teacher was at the blackboard assigning homework. My deskmate stood up and said, “I object.” He was really impressive. Later, almost the whole class got used to this system. But instead, many newly hired teachers couldn’t adapt. Imagine a college graduate who just graduated, coming to teach their first class, and asking their first question, “Class,” “Which dynasty was Du Fu from?” In a normal school, everyone would answer together, “Tang Dynasty.” But in our class, more than 50 people would slap their desks and stand up, saying, “I’ll present!” The teacher was so startled that they dropped their books. Is our class staging a mutiny? Veteran teachers are different. They give us a heads-up in advance. They’ll say, “A supervisor will observe the next class.” “You all need to perform well.” Basically, in the next class, no matter what he asks, the whole class has to stand up. And say, “I’ll answer!” By the end of that class, the supervisor is basically deaf. It’s tough for us too. A class lasts 45 minutes. We squat and stand over 50 times. And every time the whole class stands up, only one person gets to answer. I often raise my hand for half the class and don’t get to answer a single question. I raise my hand for nothing the whole class. I’m like Bai Zhantang. When I grew up and chatted with friends, it was hard to fit in. They complained, “Those childhood cartoons were so awkward!” The characters in them would suddenly shout the names of their moves. I said, “It’s not that bad.” “Is it really that awkward?” Ultraman never jumped out and said, “I’m attacking!” That would be terrifying. The little monsters would be stunned. They’d discuss among themselves, “Why did he say ‘I’m attacking’?” I have no idea. Our principal clearly overlooked an obvious fact. That is, in our area, only our middle school implemented this system. After graduation, we go to high school. You can’t adapt to high school at all. On my first day of high school, I told myself, I said, Ace, this is a normal school. You can’t show off. You have to raise your hand. But, friends, to form a habit only takes 21 days. I showed off for three years. That’s not something I can fix just by warning myself. I can solve on my own. You simply can’t control your instincts. On the third day of school, I showed off again. The teacher asked a really simple question. Class, “May I ask where an inn can be found,” what’s the next line? I reacted instinctively. I showed off. The whole class fell completely silent. I felt like my life was over. I might as well die right here. So, “May I ask where an inn can be found,” Ace showed off: “In Apricot Blossom Village.” You just feel that time paused for five seconds. After five seconds, the whole class burst into laughter. That was the first time in my life I brought the house down. Only my deskmate didn’t laugh. The way he looked at me had a hint of fear. After class, I explained to him I said, it’s not like I suddenly became like this. For the past three years, I’ve been like this every day. I think back in my first year of high school, that was the most embarrassing moment of my 16-year-old life. There couldn’t possibly be a more embarrassing time than that. Until two weeks later, I had to present again. The whole class burst out laughing again. At that moment, I knew my high school life was over. There’s nothing you can do to change that. You can’t change how your classmates see you. Even if I later got the top score in the whole school, and my photo was posted on the bulletin board, when classmates walked by and saw it, they would still just say, “Presentation Guy.” The only thing that made me feel a little better was that there was someone in the next class called “Presentation Girl.” She was my classmate in middle school. Every time we met, we would check in on each other. “Have you had to present recently?” Thinking about it, after graduating from middle school, our classmates scattered to different high schools, and each became the “Presentation Guy” or “Presentation Girl” of their own school. We really are a blazing fire when we’re together, spreading “Presentation Guys” everywhere. This bit is pretty catchy. I performed it offline before. Once, at a subway station, I was recognized by an audience member. He said, “Ace,” “I really like you.” “I perform this bit myself.” “Can I take a photo with you?” I was quite happy. I said, “Sure.” I felt like it was finally a happy thing and not something awkward anymore. Then the audience member said, “Ace,” “Can we take a” “Live photo?” “Let’s say it while taking the photo.” “I perform.” I said, “Perform it here in the subway?” That’s as far as I performed. Thank you, everyone. Coming up, the countdown to Ace’s ticket lock begins. Okay. Once again, thank you to Ace for the performance. Ace, you What is your current status? Currently, you are pursuing graduate studies at Peking University. Thank you. What is your major? Something related to computer science. Software engineering. Which year of graduate school are you in? You should be graduating next year, right? Graduating next year. So you and Xiaoyu Yes, we are in the same club. When you express your opinion you add a verb after “I” when you speak. So after “I” I just If I get used to saying “I show” I will definitely change the tone. Say “I temporarily” Temporarily won’t speak for now. I originally had a joke about this. Just take that one and change the tone a bit. That should work too. Try to save myself. Try to save myself. Did you wait until the very end to hit the light? Yeah. Because I think he’s really cute. I don’t know why. It’s just the way he talks, his tone. I really love listening to it. It really feels like a classmate. Like chatting with you. Yeah. I really like it. And standing up like this, we’ve all had the experience of answering questions. Mr. Luo, what would you like to show us? I questioned it I accepted it So, which school did you attend? That middle school Just a regular middle school And actually, it wasn’t just our school Many schools in different places were implementing this system I really understand this Even though you’re a child You’re a teenager But you have your own dignity too So sometimes, schools have some strange rules Sometimes, at their core they’re actually quite harsh a test of obedience So when I heard it just now I felt pretty sad But I’m really happy for you I mean mentally you overcame this After I became an adult I actually didn’t want to talk about this You had the courage to turn it into a work That’s really, really great Let me add something Let me add something Here. I pressed the button. Because I think this is very… The listening process is really interesting. Of course, I agree with what Teacher Luo just said. And it’s really addictive. It’s really addictive. I have a feeling that in the coming days, I’ll keep repeating this. I’ll show this sentence pattern. That’s what makes it so scary. And you can interpret a lot from it. Just like Teacher Luo mentioned earlier. It’s like a system or a certain requirement that alienates people. So actually, after you laugh, just like he said, you’ll feel a bit sad inside. So I’m really glad to see him here, using this way to confront his childhood when he had some unpleasant memories. That’s why I pressed the button. Because while I was listening, I found it really addictive. Presentation finished. Thank you, teacher. Ace, please wait for a moment in the lounge. The next person to come on stage is a new friend from Xinjiang. Her name is Xiaopa. But in her self-introduction, she specifically wrote “I’m not afraid.” Let’s welcome the fearless Xiaopa. Xiaopa! So cool! So beautiful! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. I’m Xiao Pa. I’m from Xinjiang. Cities in Xinjiang. Say any place you know. Urumqi. Yili. Korla. You’re all naming big cities. They’re great places. I’m from a very, very small place. It’s called Aksu. Apples. That’s right. After all these years away, I’ve never met anyone from Aksu outside. It’s like there are no people from Aksu. Only apples. I’m Uyghur. My family is very traditional. My grandma told me since I was little, when you grow up, you can only marry someone from our place. Otherwise, you’ll drag our ancestors from 70 generations above and 70 generations of descendants below all into hell. That’s terrifying, my friends. Seventy generations above, seventy generations below, and I’m not even included. People from different places can’t be together In my opinion, this view is very narrow-minded Because as I see it there are probably only two situations in the world where it’s not really suitable to be together The first situation is being too closely related Marrying close relatives is definitely not okay Right? (Right) The second situation is being too distantly related reproductive isolation Every time I tell this joke some people in the audience are always in a state of “What isolation did she just say?” “What brand of isolation is that?” Although my attitude toward marriage is very tolerant I’ve never been married all my life because all the marriages in my family were already taken by my dad Yeah I’ve known him for so many years he’s had about six or seven marriages that I know of As for the ones I don’t know about I have no idea When I go home for the holidays there’s a strange woman at home I know who she is I want to act a bit friendlier but I’m too nervous When you’re nervous, talking gets really awkward As soon as I open my mouth “Are you the new mom?” It’s awkward at home. It’s also awkward when I go out. Do you still remember where I’m from? (Aksu) A small place where there are more apples than people. In such a small place, my dad has been married several times. He’s had a few relationships. When I go out with him, if he suddenly pulls me along while we’re walking, and inexplicably turns around, I know right away, OK, he’s run into his ex-wife. But if we’re walking, and he suddenly tells me to get lost, I know, OK, he’s run into a potential future wife. As I get older, I become more and more curious why anyone would want to marry my dad. I’m so curious that I even asked. I said, Sixth Mom, Why did you marry my dad? Because my dad has a bad temper, loves to drink, doesn’t do housework, is violent at home, and gambles. She interrupted me and said, “Child,” “I know your dad has a lot of problems, but in the future, he will definitely become more mature.” That year, my dad was 52 years old. At 52, he still wasn’t mature. I suspect my dad is like a kiwi fruit. Because whenever I buy one of those, it’s always unripe. After I bring it home, it stays unripe. Then, when I check again, it’s rotten. Everyone in my family is very tolerant of my dad. They always tell me “Your dad is still young.” “He’ll be better in a couple of years.” In a couple of years, he will… …be gone. I’m the opposite of my dad. Not only did I mature early, I was forced to grow up fast. My family told me from a young age, “You’re not a kid anymore.” “You need to be sensible.” I’ll go first, then. Maybe it’s because of my dad’s so-called immaturity that he would get involved with several women at the same time and get entangled with them. I saw those scenes since I was little. Like my two moms fighting each other. They were grabbing at each other. The scene of my two moms grabbing each other was really… …mom-grabbing. I’m joking about it now, telling you all about it, but do you know how much of a shadow this left on me? I’m 33 years old now, and I still can’t stand seeing two old ladies downstairs fighting over plastic bottles. I get triggered, guys. Whenever I see it, that’s it, it’s two women again fighting over trash. I’m really curious why my dad can get married so many times. I was so curious. Later, I realized he was really smart. He could turn something selfish into something that sounded selfless. I asked him, “You’ve failed so many times,” “why do you still want to get married?” He said, “Isn’t it mainly because I want to find you a mom?” He wanted to date someone, but he used me as an excuse. I even suspect when he was dating someone else, did he say, “Do you want to come up and sit for a while? My daughter can do somersaults.” If he gets married just to find me a mother, shouldn’t he at least consider my opinion? No. I never even met this mother before the wedding. Why is it that he gets to fall in love freely, but I get an arranged mother-daughter relationship? Besides, why do I even need a mother? I’ve been independent for a long time. My dad used that line again. He said, “Isn’t this just to give you a little brother?” Right? When you get married in the future, if your husband hits you, your little brother can protect you. At that moment, I understood something. Friends, in this world, there may not be a man who loves me, but there will definitely be a man who hits me. But if we follow this logic further, then for my unborn brother, it would be unfair. Don’t you think so? If he was born just to protect me, then he wouldn’t have his own life to live, no dreams of his own to pursue, wouldn’t he want a wife of his own? Thank you. My dad’s logic is really strange. He’s waiting for me to get married, while at the same time waiting for someone else to marry their daughter into our family, and also waiting to marry his own daughter into someone else’s family. It’s like a marriage exchange. The earliest universal equivalent was sheep. I feel like that sheep. Going from one family to another. But then I realized I was overthinking it. When the sheep arrives at another family, it just needs to be a sheep. No need to act like a cow or a horse. My dad never had a son. He desperately wanted one but couldn’t have one. He was so anxious that he had children with different women, and ended up with different daughters. At that moment, I realized my dad might not be that smart after all. Because he was already using the method of controlling variables, so why hasn’t he figured out where the problem is? I knew in second grade that zero multiplied by any number is always zero. Although my dad doesn’t have a son, his tolerance and favoritism toward boys has reached an almost obsessive level. Just because someone is a boy, he forgives all their mistakes. No matter what they do wrong, he lets it slide. He insists on being tolerant. It wasn’t until I grew up that I realized the whole society is just like my dad. When I was little, even the smallest things— if a boy bullied me, I’d go home and complain to my dad. I’d say, “Dad, he pulled my braids.” My dad would say, “Oh, he’s just a little boy.” I’d say, “Dad, he peed everywhere.” My dad would say, “Oh—” “He’s just a little boy.” I’d say, “Dad—” America dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima. My dad would say, “Oh—” “He’s just a little boy.” Thank you, everyone. I’m Xiao Pa. Thank you. Perfect. High score. Countdown to Xiao Pa’s vote lock. Let’s give Xiao Pa another round of applause. Why did Xiao Pa on this stage when meeting everyone for the first time choose this topic? Because I didn’t know how long I could stay on this stage, so I thought for the very first piece, I should say what I most wanted to say. That’s amazing. Xiao Pa is, on this stage, counting all the years, the coolest contestant I’ve ever seen. Thank you. Also, on this stage, regardless of whether it’s a boy or a girl, when it comes to issues with their family of origin, we’ve seen all kinds of strange problems countless times. But never has anyone been able, like you, to talk about it so effortlessly. It even made us wonder first, if this issue didn’t actually cause real harm or trouble for you growing up, so you can handle it so calmly, then you are truly remarkable. If it did trouble you, and you can still talk about it so lightly, even as a joke, that’s even more impressive. So, either way, the conclusion can only be remarkable or even more remarkable. Very good. Thank you. I was truly amazed by her. Later on, deep down, part of me actually found it thrilling, and very funny. But at the same time, I also felt a lot of anger inside. My anger wasn’t because I had gone through these things myself. It’s that she allowed me to enter her state of mind. I was angry about the state she described to me. I’m actually quite a peace and love type of person, very calm and composed. So I rarely experience this kind of feeling. I’m especially grateful to Xiao Pa for letting me feel this kind of emotion for the first time. Thank you. Thank you, Teacher Luyu. Thank you. When did you realize that stand-up comedy could help you express these things? Or I would receive some private messages, or some people would come up to me and say, “Xiao Pa, I actually feel the same way,” or “I’ve also been through similar situations.” You made me realize that even after going through all this, we can still live on with strength. Thank you. I’m a bit Rather than saying I was shocked, or surprised, I even feel that on this year’s stand-up comedy stage, the boundaries have been pushed further. The topics we can talk about and the attitudes we can express, I feel like they’ve become broader. Yes. I think it’s something unknown. That’s right. Thank you. Thank you, Chun Chun. Let’s invite Ace back to the stage. Since this is a face-off, we have to check the scores. Let’s first look at the Smile Friends’ scores. Xiao Pa: 40 Ace: 20 After the audience voting ended, let’s see how many votes they got. During the performance, for about ten seconds, my mind was probably blank. My mind— I felt like, “Where am I? What am I doing?” It went better than I expected. Because I thought maybe I’d forget my lines or completely lose the rhythm. But none of that happened. So today was alright. Congratulations to Xiao Pa. A high score of 280 votes. Nice! Congratulations, Xiao Pa! You’ve advanced to the promotion zone. Impressive! Ace is temporarily in the pending zone. After Xiao Pa finished her performance, I could feel that someone from such a broken family has developed such a strong inner strength. She was so powerful on stage. Because there was a fierceness in her eyes. That fierceness is how I feel about my own family of origin. The pain my father caused me, I have to speak it out. Because the anger is stuck inside, unable to be released. I feel that only after I say it all can the hatred in my heart finally be let out. The harm he caused me still follows me to this day. I have no way to completely heal some of these issues. Moreover, as I get older, I find that the more I want to escape from him, the more I see myself becoming like him. And then I start to hate myself. Actually, Xiao Pa has not really reconciled with her past. She is still struggling. She might every day sometimes feel like she’s living in the world, and sometimes she’s in a place of pain. So this is still a constant inner struggle, day after day. That’s why I feel so much sympathy for them. The two contestants about to go on stage are both here for the first time. They are both newcomers. Next up for the 1v1 showdown is this contestant who is about to take the stage. He is very good at observing everyday life and turning the details of life into inspiration for his work. Please welcome, with applause, from the Suzhou Laisai Club, Han Dagou. Hello, everyone. I’m Han Dagou. It’s my first time recording a show. I’m very nervous. But also very excited. Yesterday, I came for the rehearsal. I saw this stage, these sets, and felt like the show treats us all as stand-up stars. As soon as I arrived at the production team yesterday, they booked that cheap hotel. We’re still just friends. I’m very familiar with cheap hotels. Maybe everyone here has stayed in them too. On business trips, or while traveling. When we go on tour every week, we always stay in those cheap budget chain hotels. They’re really hard to stay in. The disposable items inside are also really low quality. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the cheaper the hotel, the thinner the slippers. The material just gets thinner. (Yeah.) They’re even thinner than the beef in Lanzhou noodles. It’s like they’re made out of napkins. Feels like they’d dissolve in water. And these slippers are always tied up every day, kept in a folded state. They’ve basically turned into 2D objects. They’re just flat. You can’t even get your foot in. When I try to put them on, it’s like I’m crushing out a cigarette. If I wear these slippers a few more times, my toes could probably count money. And I also hope these hotels can reach a consensus to put the disposable slippers in a fixed location. Is it really necessary to hide them so well? It’s not like we’re looking for the bride’s shoes. As soon as I enter the room, I have to look for those slippers. It’s like an escape room. I search forever and still can’t find them. I have to call the front desk and say, “Can the NPC give me a clue?” They tell me to check the wardrobe, the second drawer, next to the safe. Why not just put them inside the safe? They’re so shabby, so uncomfortable to wear, no one would want to take them. Except Jiang Zihao from two years ago. The slippers aren’t properly prepared. They put a bunch of things I hardly ever use in my room. Some hotels claim that for the sake of the environment, they no longer proactively provide disposable toothpaste or toothbrushes. But they’ll still put out sewing kits and shower caps. The sewing kit is actually really useful for me. I can finally DIY a pair of comfortable slippers. And as for the shower cap, to me, it’s just a shoe cover. I specifically asked my female friends and they said when they don’t want to wash their hair while showering, they still don’t wear the shower cap. It’s just too uncomfortable to use. They’d rather just lower the showerhead. So I’m really curious, who is the target audience for these shower caps? One time when I was showering, I happened to not want to wash my hair, so I put on the shower cap. After I finished showering, I felt like my head needed to be washed too. It was all sweaty. It felt like it distilled all the moisture out of my body. Everything was steamed out. I was left completely confused. Thinking about quickly finding a hair dryer and using it for a bit. But hair dryers are even harder to find than slippers. They’re always put in a velvet bag and hidden away. It’s like they’re treating it as the official seal of the room. Every time I look for the hair dryer, I regret it. I think, when I was looking for slippers earlier, I think I saw it. Also, on hotel beds, there’s always a pile of stuff. I’m sleeping alone, but they give me six pillows. Where am I supposed to sleep? Six pillows— even if Nezha came to sleep here, you’d need two Nezhas to use up all six pillows. And that’s not all. At the end of the bed, there’s always what I call a scarf-like thing. It’s like a magic sash. I got curious again and asked a friend who works in hotels. I asked, “Is this thing for wiping my feet?” He said no. It’s called a bed runner. It’s for guests who don’t want to take off their shoes and lie on the bed with their shoes on. It’s for putting their feet on. I said, then why not just prepare disposable slippers properly and be done with it? What I really can’t understand is some hotels tuck the comforter under the mattress and it’s really hard to pull out They say this is called the Western way of making the bed I said, that’s not necessary Just give me the Chinese style, that’s fine Fold the comforter into a neat square and put it on the bed (Right) Once it’s tucked in, it’s so hard to pull out As I was pulling at the comforter, I said This design is just ridiculous Are they that afraid I’ll get inside? I was getting frustrated I wondered if I even needed a comforter Maybe I could just use those six pillows instead If I feel cold there’s always a scarf, right? In the end, I still got under the covers But once inside, I couldn’t move at all It felt like I was sleeping inside a giant disposable slipper This one’s not bad. It’s really spot on. Every time I turn over, I feel like the bed is fighting me for the blanket. I tell myself, stop fussing. Just turn off the lights and go to sleep. But as soon as I turn off the lights, I realize there’s always a light in the hotel and you have no idea where the switch is. I clearly turned off the master switch. My understanding of a master switch is, you turn off the lights, you cut the power, even if you cut off the oxygen, it’s fine. I don’t need any of that to sleep. But there’s still a light in the hallway, shining provocatively. What, are you afraid the hidden camera won’t get a clear shot of me? The light switches in hotels are set up like those drinking games. This one’s on, this one’s off, guess if this one is on or off. And some hotels just love to install lights that no one would ever use at home. I once stayed at a hotel that put a strip of mood lighting under the bed. I just couldn’t find the switch for it. That whole night, I lay on that pristine white bed, with a ring of golden light shining around me. There was even a pair of paper slippers by the bed. What kind of place is this? A hotel for the afterlife. And taking a shower in a hotel is also a hassle. When you shower in a hotel, you never know where the water will come out from. I’m there adjusting it, like a DJ mixing tracks. If I’m not careful, it’ll suddenly pour down on my head like rain. If I’d known, I would’ve worn a shower cap. And in some really rundown hotels, the water temperature isn’t linear. When you’re showering, even if you hold the shower handle and adjust it bit by bit, millimeter by millimeter, you still can’t get the temperature you want. Even if you do it like in the movies, where a thief cracks a safe, wearing a stethoscope to adjust it, it’s useless. It only has two temperatures. And it’s still a bit cold. Crappy hotel. I can’t even shower properly. And I can’t sleep well either. At night, I kick off the blanket. I even twisted my ankle. When I checked out, I was so mad I wanted to take the room card and stuff it into the slipper, stack the slippers together, put them in the shower cap, sew the shower cap shut with the sewing kit, and hide it under the mattress. Let them try to find it. But they’d probably find it quickly. There are cameras. Thank you, everyone. I’m Han Dagou. Thank you. Mr. Luo’s big-picture perspective Come on, everyone Here we go Ticket locking countdown Let’s give another round of applause to Han Dagou He’s actually not just an excellent stand-up comedian He himself is also, as I mentioned earlier, the one I keep talking about, Suzhou Lai Sai Club and he’s the manager Manager Yes He has quite a lot of stage experience Relatively more than others He’s been performing for four or five years I really related to what he said earlier About kicking the blanket at night That blanket at night It really gets stuck so badly Every time I was super sleepy before I had to pull it out and then start kicking and kicking At night, by myself It’s like tossing Indian flatbread And you mentioned another kind of bed that has ambient lighting Chasing lights There’s a ring underneath A ring around the bottom of the bed That ambient light Chasing lights Galloping man I’ve really had my eyes opened. Right? You think so too. What he did— He really nailed those details in the middle. Yeah. It was especially good. Actually, last night, the things he just talked about, I already ran into a lot of them. Last night, I was looking for something—I didn’t know if it was a humidifier or an air conditioner, just a switch on some machine. I didn’t know how to turn it on or off. So I just unplugged it. And then the TV— I really had no idea how to turn it off. I thought, just let it stay on. So I slept with it on. Even after I turned off the main switch, there was still one in the bathroom— it wasn’t an ambient light, it was a bathroom night light. A little night light. I had to turn that off. I spent ages looking for how to turn it off. And as for the bed runner— This was the first time I learned it’s called a bed runner. I didn’t know it was for resting your feet. I always thought it was something very fancy. Every time, I fold it nicely. And put it aside. You even helped him fold it. Yes, because I said this— I’ve folded it too. You fold it too? The kind that’s like satin. Because you think it’s a decoration. Yes, I thought it might be something high-end. Haven’t you ever used it as a shawl? Almost Let’s give thanks to Han Dagou for his wonderful performance That was fun He brought us so many interesting discussions Thank you, Dagou Thank you Before Dagou, it was Xiao Pa How could Han Dagou follow up such a great performance There was no reaction for the first two minutes I thought it was over I was about to comfort him But then he relied on himself and started talking I’m really happy for him When Han Dagou went on stage I was actually a bit worried because he didn’t stick to his usual persona Instead, he chose an observational approach And that observation wasn’t something everyone could relate to His handling his analogies and his comedic skills were all used very well He combined all the elements into one space and kept repeating them and finally brought it home with emotion He proved himself again this year Next up is also here for the first time on this stage As for him he has a very unique vibe A bit dazed Deadpan humor But he was actually very close to the fire really close not far at all Let’s welcome this stand-up comedian Please give a round of applause for Er Ge Hello everyone I’m Er Ge No need to applaud just yet My main job is being a firefighter Now you can applaud You all are really adorable But you’re also very lucky Because the person you met today is me doing stand-up and not me at work I like doing stand-up because it lets me speak the truth Before I started doing stand-up people often asked me why did you choose to become a firefighter I said because I liked it because I was passionate about it But after doing stand-up I have to express my real feelings Like? Passion? Love for the job? Isn’t there also responsibility, mission, and duty? You know, after I became a firefighter, my friends around me said that now I’m full of integrity. To be honest with everyone, when I was a kid in our village, if you mentioned my name, it was always everyone wanted to beat me up. When I think about the things I did back then, they were really bad. When I was little, I was pretty mischievous. I liked playing with fire. Back then, putting out fires was pretty simple. I used water. I remember one day, after a basin of water, the fire wasn’t out at all. My cotton pants caught fire instead. That’s when I learned a lesson. I told myself, from then on, never put out a fire from downwind. It’s too hard on your cotton pants. You know, in our rural area, during spring plowing, we need to burn off the fields. My family didn’t have much land or weeds. So burning wasn’t very satisfying. So I burned all the weeds in the whole village. The fire burned for two days. My dad was fined six thousand. My dad told me he wanted a second child. I said, Dad, won’t you get fined for having a second child? My dad said, we could just strangle you first. Back then, I not only liked playing with fire, I also liked setting off firecrackers. I set off a bunch of firecrackers, but it wasn’t enough for me. I threw them into the chicken coop at home, into the doghouse, and into our vegetable cellar. The chickens and dogs were all over the place. It was so exciting. Because my mom crawled out of the vegetable cellar. My mom exploded with anger right then. She called for my dad. I agree to have a second child, just strangle the second son, quick! When I left our village back then, to become a firefighter, I carried with me the hopes of all the villagers. They didn’t even know what a firefighter actually does. They just hoped I would leave. On the day I left, even the village chief came to my house to see me off. He hugged me warmly and said, “That’s wonderful.” “Hurry and go help build the city.” “If you can, don’t come back to the village.” But when I joined the fire brigade, I realized I was well-suited to be a firefighter. Because the first time I fought a fire, I was praised by our captain. Our captain said, “You’re good, Number Two.” “Before I even had a chance to teach you,” “you already knew how, in a fire,” to judge the direction of the wind.” I said long johns once taught me a lesson. He asked, how did you stay so calm in this fight? You seemed so composed. So unflustered. I said, before I came here, I’d already seen a lot. Back then, I was young. After being praised, I started to get a bit cocky. My old comrades couldn’t stand it. They called me out. They said, “Second Brother,” “Wherever you go now,” “I dare to catch a snake this long with my bare hands,” “Do you dare?” “I’ve been in a fire,” “with burning gas tanks,” “I’ve carried out three of them,” “Would you dare?” Back then, I was young and brash. I said, “I once fired a cannon at my mom,” “Would you dare?” I’ve been a firefighter for fourteen years. I’m not bragging. Back then, as Second Brother, in countless firefighting and rescue missions, I was always the first to get off the truck. And always led the charge. Because as a firefighter, I had no choice. But when I responded to calls back then, I was the slowest to get on the truck. Of course, who isn’t? No one is born a firefighter. When I first responded to calls, I was scared too. I was also afraid. I remember one time, a clothing factory caught fire. The fire was huge. I was really scared. When I got out of the truck, I tried to encourage myself. I kept mumbling to myself. I said, “It’s fine.” “The fire isn’t that big.” “Don’t be afraid.” “The fire isn’t that big.” At that moment, my captain walked by me. He said, “Hey, number two,” “you say this fire isn’t big,” “have you seen something bigger?” He told me to go in and search for people trapped inside. You know, after I went in, there was a lot of smoke. At that moment, I suddenly felt that not far away, two pairs of eyes were staring at me. I gritted my teeth and stomped my foot, and rushed in. I managed to rescue two mannequins. Sometimes, trying to truly understand someone is really hard. At that time, the boss was so moved he almost cried. He said, “Brother, it’s great that you saved two mink coats. They’re worth much more than these mannequins.” My captain even praised me, saying I was calm, that among all the mannequins, I chose to save the children’s clothing mannequin first. When it comes to firefighters, everyone knows it’s dangerous. Two years ago, I also suffered a work injury. It was my right knee. I had two-thirds of my meniscus removed and underwent ACL reconstruction surgery. It was quite serious. Why am I telling you all this? Usually, people know that firefighting is dangerous, but they don’t know just how dangerous it really is. They don’t know how dangerous it is for firefighters who play basketball. Are you crazy? I was just standing on the sidelines at the time. Watching those firefighters play basketball. And I still got hit like this. The one who hit me was my comrade. He’s the person I care about most. He hurt me the most. I’ve seen so many accidents. But this accident, was the most unexpected for me. I was lying on the ground at the time. All my comrades gathered around to check on me. Some said to use a cold compress. Some said to use a hot compress. I lay there for seven or eight minutes. No one took me to see a doctor. Finally, one comrade took out his phone. He said, “Don’t worry, buddy.” “I’ll find someone who knows what to do.” “To take a look at you.” Then he asked me, “What’s your birth date and time?” At that moment, my captain came over. As soon as I saw my captain coming, I said, “Captain, it’s over.” I might have a fracture. My captain was very serious. “Impossible,” “I’m the most experienced,” “Stand up and let me take a look.” I stood up quickly, and heard a cracking sound. The captain said, “Now,” “this is called a fracture.” “Take him to the hospital.” We arrived at the hospital. The doctor was very professional. He looked at the X-ray, and exclaimed, “Oh my!” “How did you do this?” I was embarrassed to say. I said I was playing basketball. He said, “That’s it,” “You won’t be able to play basketball anymore.” “If you like it,” “you can only” watch others play basketball from now on.” I didn’t listen to the doctor. I don’t dare to look anymore. You know I’ve been a firefighter for many years. I’ve experienced the ups and downs of life. You know, a lot of people ask me when you’re carrying out some dangerous rescues, what’s going through your mind? Is it like in the movies, thinking about making sacrifices or earning honors? Actually, I’m not that noble. I never thought about making sacrifices. Never thought about earning honors. But I never thought about backing down either. Thank you, everyone. I’m Second Brother. Come on. Second Brother ticket-lock countdown. Let’s give another round of applause to Second Brother. About what Second Brother did earlier, do you have a lot of experience performing live? I’ve been involved in stand-up comedy for almost three and a half years. I haven’t had that many opportunities to perform. Because my club isn’t doing very well these days. Is it the same one as Maodou’s? Yes. After Maodou left, it got even worse. The reason I asked this question is because I think when he’s on stage, he’s very composed. Extremely composed. He controls the stage, controls the pacing, and manages the interaction with the audience. He knows exactly when to wait for the audience’s emotional reactions. He’s very precise with all of that. I like it. His performance is full of energy and feels completely natural. It’s the kind that flows seamlessly from start to finish. And this kind of thing if you don’t have life and experience tied together, it’s impossible to create it. That’s why I really, really like it. As for me, there are a lot of police officers in my family, but we’ve never had a firefighter. So when he was talking about some of his awkward experiences, his fears, his vulnerability, and his mischievousness, It’s this image. Right in front of me, it’s especially vivid. So lively. Yes. So for me, it’s especially moving. Okay. Yes, mischievous. I think Second Brother showed it really well. He showed us that if it’s your first time on a stage made for television like this, a program’s stage, this is the best way to present yourself. In there, you can instantly know this person, his personality, his character. He immediately comes alive. With Maodou, when you two were together at the club, did you two exchange joke ideas like that? Because their way of making jokes is a bit similar. Isn’t it? Yes, we do. Maodou is my stand-up comedy mentor. “Mentor” is a rare word. After watching him, I felt he gives very direct feedback. I like that too. He’s in the navy. I’m a firefighter. You two make a complete set. He rides the waves. I brave the fire. Let’s take a look at the vote counts for both of them. I was a bit nervous at first. Then I gradually found my rhythm. It was okay. I think I have already given it my all. I almost achieved the best I could do. Very close. Extremely close. Han Dagou, 228. Er Ge, 212. Congratulations to Dagou for advancing to the next round. Er Ge will have to wait in the pending area. Please wait a moment. The next two for the 1v1 are both familiar faces. The upcoming PK will be between