EP3-1FULL：Jia Hao bước lên sân khấu với lớp trang điểm đầy đủ,”nữ cảnh sát” khiến khán giả kinh ngạc
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the show sponsored by Meituan Flash Sale, “Stand-up Comedy and Friends” Season 2. The first round is called the Friendly Match. Before today’s competition begins, I’ve invited an old friend of ours to give a stand-up comedy performance. To warm up the crowd and cheer everyone on. He really is an old friend. Because he’s actually old. He was 65 last year. It was his first time trying stand-up comedy. Remember? (I remember.) And when he left the stage, he said, unless something unexpected happens, he would come again this year. To let everyone know nothing unexpected happened to him, he’s really here today. Let’s give a warm welcome to Shanshan. So stylish. He’s eliminated me twice. Hello, everyone. I’m Shanshan. Surprised? I’m still here. I’m even more surprised that the show is still here. But this year, I’m not here to compete. I’m just here to open the show for everyone. Opportunities should still be left for the young people. After all, last year, the young people gave the opportunity to me. Xiaoyu just casually said something, that it’s the age to take risks. And that made me go viral. So if you ask me, it has to be the top student from Peking University. His knowledge changed my fate. My fate— who will change it? After the show aired, many media outlets interviewed me. They almost turned me into an inspirational role model. Sometimes I feel like in the stand-up comedy industry, one old guy just isn’t enough. Stand-up comedy really does need to age up. Many long-established organizations have been reaching out to me. Like Senior Citizens’ News, “Sunset Glow,” and nursing homes and such. They invite me to all kinds of events. I’ve found that the track for new and old performers is very narrow. Real veteran artists are all very expensive. But artists like me, who are both new and old, are in high demand. I’m even a little worried that I might have taken Teacher Tang Guoqiang’s job. Sharing Event on Life in Old Age There were a total of five guest speakers. Four of them were veteran artists. They all drove luxury cars to the event. I was the only one who took the subway. It’s not that I wanted to stand out. I just genuinely like the priority seats for the elderly. After the recording was done, the production team booked me a return flight at 7 a.m. the next day. I had to get up at 4 a.m. I asked if they could book me a flight at a normal time. They said flights at normal times were over budget. It’s one thing not to treat me like a celebrity, but they didn’t even treat me like an elderly person. Making me leave so early. It seems they really wanted to send me away. During the Spring Festival, several organizations jointly held a gala to show respect and care for the elderly. They asked me to bring some warmth and happiness to the elderly. Which I also needed myself. But I still prepared seriously. When I got there, the whole hall was full of elderly people singing and dancing. They were much happier than I was. I was the one who felt warmed. So I performed especially well that day. I stole the spotlight from all the old men. A lot of elderly ladies were eager to take photos with me. Some even made heart gestures with me. It made several old men faint with jealousy on the spot. Sometimes, I also take part in other activities. For example, the Spring Festival Gala. It’s the Spring Festival Gala of our local TV station. It was the first time they included a stand-up comedy segment. The TV station took it very seriously. My five-minute routine was revised seven times. I asked, “Will the audience still laugh at this?” The director laughed. He said the script for the show had already passed the review. On the day of the recording, I asked if they could set up a teleprompter for me. The director said, “That’s something you online shows use.” “Our TV station doesn’t do that.” They don’t do that. So they’re just making things hard for me. I also took part in a variety show. “Yilu Fanhua.” I met my idol Ms. Liu Xiaoqing. Bet you didn’t expect that. I like her too. I was so excited at that moment. I thought I was dreaming. Because of Liu Xiaoqing, she is exactly ten years older than me. But looking at us, I look at least twenty years older than her. Seriously. Sister Xiaoqing shouldn’t have come to Blossoms. She should have gone to Sisters Who Make Waves. Because of this, the production team even bought me a one million yuan personal accident insurance policy. I went home and told my spouse about it. Somehow, my son overheard from his room and misunderstood, thinking Liu Xiaoqing gave me one million yuan. Now he really doesn’t want to go to work. So I had no choice but to go everywhere for gigs, taking on all kinds of performances. As a result, the more I worked, the more energetic I felt. The more I performed, the younger I felt. Raising children really does keep you young. Great. My wife’s best friend specifically went to see my live show. The very next day, she came to our house right in front of me and said to my wife, “Your husband is famous now.” After the show, so many female fans lined up for autographs and photos. You’d better watch out. Men, especially those who do stand-up comedy, as soon as they get popular, scandals happen. When I heard that, I thought, what kind of friend is this? She’s over sixty and doesn’t understand men at all. Right? Nowadays, some male stand-up comedians have scandals even if they’re not famous. I quickly comforted my wife. I told her, “Don’t worry.” It’s impossible. I’m already this old. There’s no way something like that would happen to me. Such a “big good thing.” Back then, I handed my salary to my wife. As for performance fees, I managed those myself. After doing more shows, my performance fees increased. I noticed that recently my wife often asks me to pick things up on my way home. At first, it was daily household items. Then it escalated to phones and home appliances. Suddenly, I felt that everything the house needed was all on my way to performances. After half a year, my house didn’t collapse, but my private savings did. I told my wife, “Stop asking me to pick things up on the way.” “Just place an order directly on Meituan Flash Sale.” “Isn’t that easier?” Let’s do a quick purchase. Delivered in 30 minutes. We won’t have to wait long. After all, at our age, we really can’t wait too long for them. As soon as my wife heard that, she agreed. Let’s use Meituan Flash Purchase then. Later, when you go out to perform, you can place an order on the way. It seems I’m going to keep going down this path until the very end. If you ask who’s changed the most, it’s actually my wife. When she was interviewed by CCTV News, she said about me, that I used to be busy with work all the time, and now I’m always working on stand-up comedy, not caring about things at home. He says more in one performance than he says to me in a whole year. After hearing that, I felt really guilty. I started to make an effort to talk about topics she likes, and occasionally do some housework. A while ago, I even took her to Yunnan for a few days of vacation. How should I put it? With the way our relationship is now, it’s hard for us to appear on “Goodbye My Love” anymore. So I want to give special thanks to CCTV During the rehearsal Even the show director laughed when he heard this He said, if you say it like this the review will definitely pass Thank you, everyone I’m Shanshan Once again, let’s give a warm round of applause to Brother Shanshan Thank you, Teacher Shanshan Grandpa Shanshan Brother Shanshan, let me ask you one more thing Why are you only a guest performer this year and not competing The opportunity should be left to the young people Last year, it was already given to me Next year, you’ll be the host, right That’s what you mean Shanshan Bye-bye Shanshan Sorry Don’t be upset about just now I was just about to thank Brother Shanshan Why did I suddenly show up again No It’s just that you two are, well friends despite the age gap Who knows Right It’s all in good fun Come on Once again, thank you, Brother Shanshan for bringing us a wonderful opening performance Thank you, Shanshan Thank you Thank you, everyone Let me introduce once again the members of our show’s comedy panel this season. Someone everyone is very familiar with, Mr. Da Zhangwei. Thank you, everyone. Hello, everyone. Mr. Luo Yonghao. Ms. Luyu. And new to our panel this season, Ms. Li Yuchun. Thank you to all four for being with us throughout. Let’s have everyone discuss how we can better handle life with a light touch. At the same time, we also want to give a special introduction to our scriptwriters. For this show, in terms of the entire creative process, the work of the scriptwriters is extremely important. They help contestants with their scripts and process, taking care of every detail. Today, we have four scriptwriter representatives with us. Mr. Cheng Lu. Mr. Hai Yuan. Ms. Niao Niao. Ms. Fang Fang. Welcome, everyone. I still want to give a special introduction to the various stand-up comedy clubs across the country, their founders and representatives. It is precisely because of these clubs’ excellent management that the stand-up comedy industry can continuously receive fresh talent. We get to see more young people shine brilliantly on this stage. Now, let me introduce Comedy United Box, Blossom Stand-up, Talk & Laugh Comedy, Xifan Comedy, Xi’an Likes Stand-up, Smile Comedy, Kunming More Than Comedy, Huixiao Comedy, Overload Comedy Club, Ningbo Blue Stem Comedy, Si Xiao Comedy, Kudos Comedy Workshop, Suzhou Lai Sai Comedy, Funny Circle Stand-up, Nameless Comedy, Not Cool Comedy, Jia Mi Comedy, Qu Ting Comedy, Shang Ke Comedy, Danliren Comedy. Welcome, everyone. And also, holding the fate of each of our stand-up comedians’ advancement or elimination are the 260 audience members here today. Welcome, everyone. Let me explain the rules, everyone. This season of our show has a total of 300 tickets. After the head-to-head round, the contestant with the higher number of votes will advance. The contestant with fewer votes will enter the pending zone. If there is a tie, and both contestants have more than 200 votes, both will advance. If both contestants have votes less than or equal to 200, then both will enter the pending zone. There are 42 spots to advance in this round. After this round ends, 17 groups of contestants will leave the stand-up comedy stage. A special note: the use of the “Wait Lamp” in this round is a privilege that each judge can use only once. Currently, Mr. Luo Yonghao and Ms. Luyu have already used this lamp. Ms. Li Yuchun and Mr. Da Zhangwei must use this privilege in the second half of the round. They need to use up this privilege. Alright. Without further ado, let’s quickly move on to today’s competition. The first pair to compete today is The first contestant to take the stage Last year, he achieved a huge leap from being eliminated in the first round to reaching the finals an incredible breakthrough So, from last year to this year we don’t really know how far he has come in the beauty competition or how much progress he has made Let’s give a warm welcome to Jia Hao Hello Hi, everyone I’m Jia Hao Welcome, everyone Welcome, everyone The show has started again It’s the summer of stand-up comedy I also did my own makeup for today Let me first share with you all some changes in the new year First, this year I started trying to perform with a headset microphone The reason is simple First, I think in the new year I can give myself a new way to perform and new challenges Second, it’s because when I used to perform offline a lot of people said I looked like Hu Doudou Every time I hear this part I really wonder Are you kidding me (It seems) I’m so much taller than him Just having fun The second change happened last year After I did a bit about beauty makeup Everything changed I can understand people calling me “sister” I can also understand people calling me beauty blogger teacher But why do some people call me “sister teacher” I put up with all that Until the night before last Someone called me the “stand-up comedy Liang Long” Some audience members even DM me Especially guys DM me asking about skincare and foundation and makeup and stuff I think you guys can totally do it But you need to be mentally prepared At first, learning makeup really feels weird When I first started learning makeup One time, I was startled by the lipstick mark on my thermos It gave me a shock I thought, which “green tea” (flirty girl) stole a sip of my black tea Then I realized it was me Now I’ve actually become the only one in the industry the only one at every commercial performance who has to go on stage in full makeup The only one who must be fully In the future, if people ask me, Jia Hao who influenced your comedy style the most Mao Geping Now, when I talk to others, I always say my mentor is Mao Geping. But if Estée Lauder or Dior were willing to teach me, I’d gladly betray my mentor. My makeup rule is very simple now. If I put on makeup, someone has to see it. I went to Harper’s Bazaar before, and someone did my makeup really well. After the photoshoot that night, I immediately took a cab to an open mic. I hadn’t written a single joke that day, but I just wanted to see the audience. My set totally bombed that night, but I looked amazing. Other comedians bring punchlines, I bring looks. Afterwards, some performers even mocked me. They said that if you don’t write jokes nowadays, you still dare to show up at open mics. That’s a bit pretentious. I said, what’s pretentious about that? I’m fully made up. Now I sometimes livestream my makeup routine. But the timing is really awkward. If I stream during the day, you’re all at work and no one watches. If I stream at night, I finish my makeup and don’t know who to show it to. Have you ever had that feeling where you did a really great makeup look but had no one to share it with? One night, I really did a great makeup look. I truly had no other option. I had to go find my neighbors in the same complex. Haiyuan and Guangzhi. They opened the door in the middle of the night and saw me fully made up. They were pretty startled too. For the first time, I had this thought: I thought to myself, these two guys are really getting a bargain. That day, the two of them didn’t even let me in the door. They said they were sleepy a little after 10. Honestly, I feel embarrassed doing makeup live streams. I’m afraid people I know will see it. I’m afraid elders will see it. One time, an elder I know actually saw it. Mr. Luo Yonghao I don’t know why, but Mr. Luo watched my makeup live stream twice. I feel like Mr. Luo was thinking, “Jia Hao, such a straight guy, why does he like makeup so much?” And I was thinking, “Mr. Luo, such a tough guy, why do you like watching others do makeup so much?” That mutual sense of embarrassment is really like when you were a kid, secretly trying on stockings at home, and your dad walks in wearing high heels. But Mr. Luo is a really nice person. He immediately sent me a big virtual gift. My first reaction at that moment was honestly, “Mr. Luo, please leave quickly. Don’t let your creditors see you tipping a male streamer.” And when you livestream your makeup, your steps are always moving forward. Everyone who joins sees a different part. You all get that, right? So that day, there was a girl who came in and immediately said, “Jia Hao clearly doesn’t know how to do makeup.” “He doesn’t even know how to apply setting powder.” But I had just finished applying setting powder. Then she kept asking, “Where’s the setting powder?” “Where’s the setting powder?” She was like a die-hard fan of setting powder. That day, just for her, I applied setting powder three times. By the end, I felt like I wasn’t doing comedy anymore, I was doing Peking opera. If anyone else came into the livestream, I would just shout, “Hey!” “Three layers of setting powder!” The powder was so thick that later, a guy came in, lit a cigarette in front of me, and my face almost exploded. Three layers of setting powder. I can understand discussing the steps, but why did a guy that day come into the livestream and see a guy doing makeup, and just kept spamming “girly,” like he lost his mom or something. I honestly hope that the guy who kept spamming “girly” has his career and stocks crash. Because no one has set any rules about how boys should be, right? And no one has set any rules about how girls should be either. I think there are definitely similarities between the two. For example, after I do an air basketball shot, right after that, I can put on lipstick. I even think that guys who like playing video games and girls who like doing makeup often complain about the same thing. “Ugh, why is it lagging again?” So there is a connection. Now I’m slowly realizing that when I’m not wearing makeup, that’s when my aura is the weakest. But when I have a full face of makeup on, I feel like Niohulu Jiahao. But even Niohulu Jiahao can’t handle some of the audience’s suggestions. Some viewers have actually messaged me saying “Brother Hao, I noticed during your makeup livestream that your stubble is a bit heavy. Why don’t you consider getting laser hair removal?” And I thought to myself, wouldn’t that be taking it even further? Someone else said, “Why don’t you teach all the male stand-up comedians how to do makeup? If you do that, you’ll be doing a great deed.” And I thought to myself, is that really a great deed? In my mind, what really counts as a great deed is that in the future, at a dinner table, if some middle-aged guy starts telling dirty jokes, I’ll walk over with some setting powder and say, “Bro, you’re way too oily.” Of course, I’ve also been questioned. I’ve been doubted too. When I first started telling jokes about makeup, some people said I was just taking shortcuts. They said I was just trying to please certain audience members. Just trying to win over some people. I admit, at first, that was a bit true. But if you say that about me now, I really don’t get it anymore. Listen to these numbers, everyone. I now have nine bottles of foundation, seventeen tubes of lipstick, and over thirty brushes. Last year, I did my makeup more than eighty times. Is it possible that I simply got really into it? Is it possible So I’ve been thinking, Jia Hao, why do you really wear makeup? But it was actually when I went home for New Year this year, while teaching my mom how to do makeup, that I seemed to find the answer. My mom asked me to teach her makeup, but she didn’t follow my steps at all. She’d often just put on foundation and then go play mahjong. She wouldn’t even set her makeup. It made me so anxious. I never thought that when I got anxious, I would say things that I actually dislike myself. I was there nagging her, “Where’s the setting powder?” I totally lost it. My mom, a Sichuan auntie, in a TVB (Hong Kong, China Television Broadcasts Limited) style, seemed to reveal the essence of makeup. She said, When it comes to makeup, the most important thing is to be happy. Thank you, everyone. I’m Jia Hao. Thank you. Champion. I’m really impressed, oh my god. To be able to start like this… Jia Hao ticket-lock countdown. A big round of applause for Jia Hao. The first person I want to ask is Chun Chun. Because you were filming the sofa the whole time. I feel like after hearing this opening joke today, I could be hyped all day. Which part blew you away? It’s his entire rhythm. And how every part is seamlessly connected. Then I noticed Da Laoshi. The light that he and Luo Laoshi hit was feminine. Feminine. Sheep. Pleasant Sheep. Then right after, what Lu Yu Jie and I hit was a fall. That part was explosive. And last year, I watched it on the screen. I didn’t feel it so directly. So when I came up today, I felt Did he drink fake alcohol today? But I don’t think so. I think he is gradually, in his own style, constantly upgrading and evolving. And I feel he’s getting more and more comfortable. He’s mastering the stage with more and more ease. Yes. Has Jia Hao compared to his previous performances, undergone a dramatic change? I think so. Anyway, he’s just getting better and better. Because a refined boy gets more refined every day. Right? A boy this refined, even the mosquitoes that fly into his house must have double eyelids, right? So, the fact that you can write your jokes so densely is really, really impressive. Very impressive. When you write by yourself, doesn’t it feel especially satisfying? Like, “I came up with this,” “and that one too.” Not really. Also, since last year, I’ve had a coaching team. It’s Haiyuan and Guangzhi, and also Luo Ming, Xiao Luo. They’re my coaches. I didn’t announce it last year. This year, I can praise them early on. Brother Hai is really impressive. Thank you, Hao, for your recognition. I think Jia Hao Watching Jia Hao’s performance today, I’m really happy for him. I’m very touched. And a lot of people might think that Jia Hao has improved again this year compared to last year, and last year he improved compared to the year before. But actually, many people don’t know that Jia Hao has put in so much effort behind the scenes. Because he is a very, very hardworking performer. Whenever he returns to Shanghai, if he has free time, he goes to open mics to revise his jokes. Sometimes he pretends to come to my place to play games with me, but actually, it’s to talk about jokes again. Always thinking about this. I think if an actor wants to improve, they must learn from someone like Jia Hao. There will definitely be gains. Thank you, Haiyuan. Thank you. Come on, Luyu. Jia Hao is especially capable. I think he’s already on a roll. On a roll, indeed. Actually, there was a detail just now that everyone might not have noticed. His opening was a bit rushed. He started at a high pitch. If it were someone else, and they didn’t have enough confidence on stage, the rest would actually end up off rhythm. But Jia Hao is just that skilled. He can completely handle it. In the end, he totally nailed it. He has something that newcomers don’t. A passion for stand-up comedy. He’s still performing live shows. Every show is full of energy. And he keeps writing new material. His scripts are getting more and more solid. And his performances have found a rhythm that suits him best. As Teacher Luyu would say, he always knows how to deliver. Hao is one of the most hardworking performers at open mics. So I think those who feel their talent is being overlooked should first match Hao’s frequency at open mics before saying anything. After the air shot, put on lipstick. For over a month recently, I was touring with my main show. It’s called “Jia Hao and Guo Guangwen.” I think I performed in sixteen cities with eighteen shows. There were about 15,371 audience members. You’re the only one from Sichuan. The pride of Sichuan, Teacher Jia Hao. He has always represented Sichuan actors struggling and working hard outside. That’s why people like us have the chance to perform on stage. Started having a runny nose today. Where’s the loose powder? I’ve been on IV drips for three days. But it still hasn’t fully recovered. My voice has been hoarse all along. Right now, I’m just like that little medicine jar. Let’s give another round of applause to Jia Hao. Thank you. Jia Hao, take a break. That was amazing. Thank you, Jia Hao. The one who will compete with Jia Hao is this friend here. It’s her first time on the show. And she’s already taking on a challenge her first time. She used to be a police officer from Yunnan. Let’s welcome her with applause. Hotpot. Hello everyone, I’m Hotpot. Now I’m a full-time stand-up comedian. I used to be a police officer in Yunnan. I worked at a police station on the China-Myanmar border. Age. 36 years old. How long have you been doing stand-up? One year. Do you have any other skills? Three kilometers in 12 minutes and 13 seconds. I hope that everyone can hear my voice, can see me, and accept me as I am. I think that would be enough. Isn’t she so cool? She’s so stunning. (So cool) (So beautiful) Hello Hi, everyone I’m Hotpot Let me introduce myself I used to be a police officer in Yunnan I was stationed at the China-Myanmar border as a police officer at a local station That’s right Since the guys talk to you about makeup then let a girl talk to you about solving cases Our station usually has a heavy workload Actually, I’m a very lively police officer But I found that the people who report cases are usually even livelier than me Sometimes someone comes to report a case to me and the first thing they say is Hello “Police uncle, but a lady” Such a strange way to address me Today, I want to share with you my stories as a police officer I’ve wanted to be a police officer since I was a child because I love Jackie Chan’s movies I wanted to be a police officer like Jackie Chan So cool Never takes the stairs After graduating from the police academy my off-road driving and combat skills were top marks Report to the police station While running Someone said A male and a female officer were running together The female officer couldn’t keep up That day, I lapped that person twice Every time I ran past him I even whispered in his ear Run faster Man Actually, I was thinking If I performed well They might assign me a really cool senior officer to mentor me In my mind I was already picturing Daniel Wu But the senior officer who came to mentor me looked just like Taiyi Zhenren from “Nezha” Exactly the same He was from Guizhou And he spoke with a strong accent He’d say “Heavens, Bodhisattva” That’s what we from Yunnan, Guizhou, and Sichuan call Jesus Christ How could there be a girl who runs that fast Let’s go I’ll take you on a call As soon as I heard that, I knew I was set I thought I was going to join the Mekong operation But my senior took me to catch chickens The locals were hosting guests and wanted to make roast chicken But the chicken ran away They couldn’t catch it So they called the police They said the caller was really anxious The water was already boiling And the guests had arrived They needed a fast-running officer to help What’s the point of me being fast? Chickens in Yunnan can fly. Who can catch a flying chicken? That chicken flew across the border. It flew into Myanmar. My senior stood on the border with his hands on his hips. I don’t even know why, but in the throat of a middle-aged man there seems to be a motorcycle living there. The chicken went abroad. In the end, I had the drug-sniffing dog go undercover as a village mutt and bring it back. After that, during that period, our station discovered my talent. The cases they assigned me were all like a lost cow, so I had to find the cow. A child got knocked over by a pig, so I had to catch the pig. Then the pig fell into the manure pit, so I had to fish the pig out. It was so frustrating. How come, as a police officer, I only handle animal cases? I’ve always been competitive since I was a kid, but I’m also really prone to crying. Every day, I watched everyone else go out to handle big cases, and at night, I couldn’t help but cry in the dorm. while eating rice noodles. People are really complicated. How can someone be sad and still be greedy for food and even narcissistic While I was crying and slurping rice noodles I glanced at myself in the mirror I realized Oh my god I look so broken But I don’t want to be a broken cop I want to be a cop who solves cases A few days later, it happened to be the Water Splashing Festival The station assigned me and my senior to maintain order in plain clothes My senior saw it was my first time participating and said he wanted to make the experience as full as possible He rented a Dai skirt for me and got himself a vest Oh heavens Have you ever seen Taiyi Zhenren wearing a vest Those two pieces of cloth could only be draped on top When the wind blew Welcome! The key is, even my senior didn’t understand. He rented a mermaid skirt for me. I couldn’t even run away. That day, the two of us got soaked miserably. My senior only remembered to rent the costume. He forgot to buy water guns. So we could only spit water. But then I suddenly saw a man filling balloons with water. He was using them to throw at girls. And that wasn’t enough for him. He ran up to a girl pulled open her collar, stuffed a water balloon inside, and popped it with a smack. On such a nice holiday, only a beast would do something like that. What a coincidence. I’m a police officer who specializes in dealing with beasts like him. At that moment, I lifted my leg high and rushed out. But at the same time, I heard a sound. Rip. I thought, “Oh no, it’s over.” My Dai costume turned into a qipao. But in that instant, I felt a kind of power. I pinned that man to the ground in one move. Then I took those water balloons and stuffed them all into his clothes. Have you ever played whack-a-mole? That day, that’s exactly how I felt inside. It’s amazing when women wear police uniforms. You can do so many things. But I was wearing a Dai costume at the time. No one knew I was a police officer. Several younger girls were behind me. “Sis, you’re so cool!” “Sis, arrest me!” Are you serious? Actually, that night, I still cried. I had to pay 700 yuan for the Dai costume. I thought I would always handle cases like this. Until one night, I suddenly got a call from a concerned citizen. They said there was a man who got drunk and stripped down to just his underwear. He was in the greenery by the roadside causing a drunken scene. When my senior and I arrived at the scene, the roadside greenery had those green light strips, right? A young man in his twenties was dancing in a sea of green light performing the peacock dance I was stunned Why is it that when people from Yunnan drink too much they end up doing the peacock dance That fits the stereotype a little too well Right then, I pointed my body camera at him and started recording Tomorrow at the shift meeting I want all our supervisors to see what the real Yunnan impression is Then we told him to come out quickly. He refused. He said his true identity was the Peacock Princess. There was a barrier in front of him. He made a big leap and landed right in front of me. He stretched out his “peacock hand” and pecked at my head. Sometimes, even the police want to call the police. But I suddenly realized this person didn’t smell of alcohol. Then it hit me. He wasn’t drunk. He was poisoned by eating mushrooms. That fits the stereotype even more. I was so afraid that the next second he’d pull out a hulusi and start playing it. We quickly took the Peacock Princess to the hospital. Sure enough, he had been stir-frying mushrooms alone at home. While cooking, he tasted a bite. After a while, the kitchen door opened. A peacock riding on Yang Liping came in and asked him, “Do you… do you want to dance?” No wonder the peacock dance is performed with such conviction. In the blink of an eye, I’ve been working for 18 years. I’ve received many certificates and banners. And even a third-class merit. I’ve realized I don’t have to be Jackie Chan. Being myself I can still have my own “New Police Story.” Thank you, everyone. I’m Hotpot. Countdown to Hotpot’s ticket lock Hotpot’s self-introduction was very straightforward Called I used to be a police officer Yes Just a police officer from Yunnan You just hope as quickly as possible to let everyone get a sense of your situation and have a basic understanding Yes As soon as you say this the audience doesn’t run away, right? If anyone runs, catch them immediately Some might come to report a case to me Reporting a case on the spot Yes That’s hilarious Okay Come on Chunchun really likes it and is especially enthusiastic about it Yes Because as soon as she came up I thought she was really cool, first of all And this kind of female police officer image first of all, feels very familiar to me because there are many police officers in my family my father is a police officer and I have two cousins who are also police officers and actually, at that time in my mom’s career plans for me I might have become the female police officer in our family so I have a natural sense of familiarity with this profession and a kind of closeness to it And just now, listening to her share those stories I found them very vivid especially when she talked about the Water Splashing Festival I felt that this is also something in my own life that I can relate to for example sometimes, under the guise of giving blessings especially men towards women or using some reason or some excuse to express something as a blessing but actually expressing something quite impolite and crossing boundaries so when she talked about that part I really resonated with it and her actions made me feel very satisfied yes, it was really gratifying it felt like a real release Thank you, Chun Chun, for sharing. Teacher Da, what did you like about it? I think everything was good. That’s great. Interesting. Right from the start, everyone was captivated by her presence and her coolness really impressed us. And that part at the end where she got pecked was especially funny. After this show airs, I think instead of saying “sister killed me,” people will say “sister pecked me.” Yeah, that’s right. “Sister pecked me.” This should be her TV debut. Yes. She definitely made a strong impression. A dashing and spirited young woman. And as a story about a police officer, I really agree with it. Maybe in the future, you might just scratch the surface. Because we understand that the China-Myanmar border is such a unique place, and there are many things that you might not be able to talk about on this stage. But there are still many other things that I think you can share. Come on, perform more. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. When Jia Hao returned to the stage, we realized this group really stood out. Jia Hao returned to the stage. Quick, touch up your makeup. Come on. Let’s first take a look at the number of lights from the Smile Friends group. 40 to 20. After the audience voting ended, the votes for Jia Hao and Hotpot are Champion. Jia Hao is the champion. How do you even compete with that? First of all, congratulations to Jia Hao for getting 296 votes. Jia Hao advances to the next round. At the same time, let’s also congratulate Hotpot for her debut performance, where she also achieved a great result with 234 votes. She’ll wait in the pending area for now. It feels like if you have to take part in a battle you know you’ll lose, how would you fight? At first, I kind of wanted to cry. But after speaking, I felt no regrets. It’s my last time performing on stage. I used to be a police officer. But it was really awesome. That’s exactly how it feels. Next up, we have a 1v1 battle between Da Guoshou and Bula. The first contestant to come on stage is someone everyone is quite familiar with. She spends almost all her time thinking. So she doesn’t really have time to work or make money. So her life is a bit poor. And after being poor for so long, she ended up laughing at her own poverty. What is that? Let’s give a round of applause to Da Guoshou! Hi (Hi) Hello, everyone I’m Daguoshou I studied philosophy I haven’t worked for five years It’s not that I can’t find a job It’s that I’ve found something more Finding self-worth Finding the meaning of life Borrowing money from friends Even though I have no money I still insist on renting a two-bedroom apartment One is for the bedroom The other is for the studio I have a principle A person can be without a job But can’t be without a studio Without a job, you’re just a loafer No job But with a studio You’re an artist The apartment is shabby Very cheap But I’m very satisfied It’s cold in winter and hot in summer In winter, it’s a “frozen asset” In summer, it’s a “non-frozen asset” Now I have both movable and immovable assets Even though I have no money But I have a lot of integrity There was an organization before That wanted me to be a success coach I’m so poor what do you even see in me? It feels like the success philosophy has hit a dead end. He promised me a thousand yuan an hour. I was really tempted. But I study moral philosophy. My field requires me not to lie. It demands truth. So I didn’t go. So what is truth? Truth is that I really need money. Studying has really ruined me. I’ve found that some people are poor not just because of their abilities but also because of their attitude. They deserve to be poor. They’re poor with absolute certainty. It’s a kind of “small but certain poverty.” Even though I didn’t earn that money, I feel very free. Kant said freedom isn’t doing whatever you want whenever you want. It’s being able not to do what you don’t want to do. After hearing this, my friend asked me what if you want to travel? I said, clearly you didn’t get it. Kant said freedom isn’t doing whatever you want whenever you want. So freedom isn’t traveling just because you want to travel. It’s being able not to travel if you don’t want to. He said Then what if you don’t want to not travel? Honestly, I didn’t understand. But I kind of want to travel now. Of course, I didn’t go. The way poor people satisfy their desires mainly relies on abstinence. I’m not just making this up. There’s a philosophy called Stoicism. It believes that happiness doesn’t come from material abundance but from inner contentment. I thought to myself, I’m really a born philosopher. So I kept studying. When I turned the page, this school of thought was gone. I guess maybe they starved to death. When they died, their stomachs were empty, but their hearts were extremely content. They died satisfied. But after all, that’s just what the books say. I wasn’t scared by it either. Until a poor friend of mine got sick. He was rushed into the ICU overnight. That made me a bit anxious. Am I too poor? Is there any security in this kind of life? What if I get sick? Should I pay him back the money? I didn’t. It wasn’t much anyway. I just helped him share his fundraising link. He raised enough in just three days. Suddenly, I wasn’t afraid of getting sick anymore. Life always finds a way. If he can do it, so can I. And if I want to fundraise, I can. If I don’t want to, I don’t have to. I’m not worried at all. I feel totally chill inside. (Chill) Fundraising chill. I was in this kind of chill, relaxed state exploring life. I started trying stand-up comedy in 2023. I even paid my own way to travel to other cities for competitions. I couldn’t afford accommodation. So I asked in a women’s secondhand group chat if any sisters would let me pay a small fee to crash on their couch. I hoped someone would contact me. But when someone actually did, I got a little scared. I was afraid she might steal my kidney. I thought about it rationally. You can survive with just one kidney. But 300 a night for a hotel is killer. While I was overthinking, she sent me a message on WeChat. She said, “I’m going to a concert,” “I’ll leave the key outside the door for you.” “Make yourself at home.” I thought she was so nice. If only she could take me to the concert, that would be even better. Even though I’m broke, I still feel very secure. Because friends and strangers because friends and strangers have given me so much love and even lent me a lot of money. I’m really lucky. It’s all because I met these friends. Later, after appearing on the show, I paid off my debts. My creditors are really lucky too. Because they also met stand-up comedy and its friends. I talked about it last year. I study philosophy. I ride a motorcycle. I dated a musician. Some people online criticized me. They said I was a rich kid pretending to be poor. Their insults sounded quite nice. They almost sounded like blessings. But I don’t accept it. They always think only the rich deserve freedom. They even say that financial freedom is the only real freedom. But in my opinion, freedom with conditions is not true freedom. Unconditional freedom is true freedom. What is unconditional? Poverty. If you want to be poor, you can be poor. Even if you don’t want to be poor, you still have to be poor. After careful reflection, I realized poor people are suited to study philosophy. Because poverty leads to reflection. The wisdom of philosophy is endless. People who study philosophy can be poor. People who don’t study philosophy can also be poor. The world has always belonged to the poor. There are reports that only 0.33% of people nationwide are wealthy. That means out of every 10,000 people, only 33 are rich. They belong to elite families. But we are from ordinary families. I don’t envy the elite. Because elite families can decline. Ordinary families endure. Welcome to the ordinary. Especially young people. Everyone experiences poverty at some point. But being poor at 20 is relative poverty. It’s a dialectical kind of poverty. It’s structural poverty. Don’t be afraid. At 20, you have plenty of energy. Your parents are still young. They don’t need your care yet. Society doesn’t expect much from you. Because no one really expects anything from you. Even if you have no capital, you have the capital of being poor. So don’t be afraid. Embrace your poverty boldly. Show the courage of being poor. You’ll discover that when you embrace poverty, poverty will embrace you too. Isn’t it pretty inspiring? Success gurus really value this about me. Originally, for the ending, I wanted to wish everyone financial freedom. But after some reflection, I changed my mind. It’s not that I don’t want to wish it for you, nor that I don’t want to not wish it. But as Kant said, when you no longer desire financial freedom, that’s when you are truly free. Thank you, everyone. I’m Da Guoshou. Countdown to Grandmaster ticket lock-in Let’s give another round of applause to Grandmaster The style is the same as last year But it’s even funnier than last year Yes And the overall standard has risen to a whole new level Because someone like her who just lies around daydreaming when there’s nothing to do is especially suited for this industry can come up with endless combinations So I have always liked Grandmaster since the very first time and I look forward to her growing into how should I put it Actually, after Niao Niao stopped performing much I felt really sad Because on our stage there are a lot of completely nonsensical comedy acts which are also excellent and there are many based on life experiences those interesting, narrative types are also very good But at the same time I really, really hope that on this stage there will be more people who are especially smart and able to think Smart minds Who isn’t smart Let’s not talk about that No It’s just that the type of intelligence is different It’s different. Teacher Niaoniao, You were just mentioned. I was also pleasantly surprised by this bit. Actually, ever since the script reading, she made a lot of changes herself afterward. So, as for Daguoshou herself, her creative ability is truly outstanding. I’m happy for you. Okay. Thank you, Niaoniao. Because I have a good relationship with Daguoshou, and seeing her step by step, from being very anxious at the beginning, to finally presenting this script so well on stage, I’m especially happy for her. Just one last thing to say: Long live the poor. Long live the poor. I follow Daguoshou on social media, and sometimes I watch her livestreams. You know, I feel really conflicted inside. On one hand, I’m really happy, but at the same time, I love your style so much. I hope you keep telling stories like this. But I also realize that the time left for Daguoshou to talk about being poor isn’t much. Thank you, Teacher Luyu. But don’t worry. I just started living a better life. What would happen then? I hope you have a good life. Now I’m still doing it. Before I went on the show, I only had a job with a monthly salary of 1600. I also worked part-time for some people who liked philosophy, teaching classes. I think in this process, other people’s ideas could actually nourish me in return. And I needed that 1600 salary to help me balance things out amidst the noise of fame and fortune. Impressive. It’s just that everyone feels differently when reading this kind of philosophy book. Every time I read this kind of book, I always want to make up jokes. Like before, Can I make one up? Can I tell one? It’s really not funny. But I’ll give it a try. You know Nietzsche, I was reading Nietzsche’s book for a long time. Do you think the name Nietzsche sounds like someone from Henan? Like saying “you guess.” Say “Nietzsche.” What are you talking about? You guess. Who said this famous quote? It was Nietzsche. It’s nothing. Your jokes really can’t compare to those of the grandmasters. No. I also really support the Stoic school. I totally understand. I totally understand. As someone from the older generation, let me say one more thing. Just one more thing. Just one sentence, right? Just one. After Guangzhi’s days of poverty were over, reading more books is a great way to seek breakthroughs in creativity. It’s a very good method. Alright, Teacher Luo. You sell books in your livestream, right? Yes. Okay, I’ll go buy some. I’ll go buy a few. I’ll read them thoroughly. You can also buy my course. Let’s thank once again the performance by the Grandmaster. Let’s take a break. The friend who will compete against the Grandmaster is a very charismatic actor. She wants to use today’s stage to share a special experience with us. Please welcome her with applause. Not spicy. How are you all doing? I’m Bulala. Bulala. Let me talk to you about some things that have happened recently. To be honest, I’ve been pretty troubled lately. Because after my recent performance, I received a negative review. A member of the audience said that I look creepy. I always thought I was cute. I didn’t expect that I’m actually a creepy little cutie. Usually, people just say I’m not funny. Even if they say I’m not good-looking, I can handle that. But calling me creepy— isn’t that a bit too much? I don’t even know how a girl can even look creepy. I searched online for “creepy woman,” and what popped up were all men. Or women imitating men. I thought, that’s it, maybe they’re saying I look like a man. That’s such a harsh insult. Last year, I landed a short drama role thanks to my looks. It was a very serious short drama. It mainly depicted some workplace bullying situations. That day, I told my mom. I said, “Mom, I’m going to act in a—” “a short drama about workplace sexual harassment.” She immediately got nervous. She said, “Then don’t let yourself get taken advantage of.” “If someone tries to touch you,” “just slap them.” I said, “Mom, I’m the one who has to touch someone else.” When she heard that, she said, “Well, you still shouldn’t let yourself get taken advantage of.” “If someone comes over,” “you slap them with your hand.” Then the camera director came out to explain the scene to me. He said, “Teacher,” “your first scene is coming up.” “Alright.” “It’s an eye contact scene.” “In a moment, the male lead will come in through this door.” “You start with your eyes—” “harass him.” “Do you understand?” “Harass him.” “Your eyes need to be full of desire,” “aggressive,” “and dirty.” “In one word,” I said, “I know—” the male gaze.” He said, “Teacher, you really get it.” “Let’s start right away, okay?” “Three, two, one, action!” So I just— And as soon as I finished acting, they called “cut” over there. I knew it was over. We got it in one take. I thought the male lead was done for too. Because he was just standing there, stunned. He couldn’t keep up with my performance at all. So he had no idea how to act. When he saw me standing there, he walked over. He bowed to me very respectfully. He said, “Teacher,” “Your acting just now was amazing.” “You must have had formal training, right?” “Those things you just did,” “did your school teachers teach you that?” I said, “No,” “it was the old-timers in society who taught me.” The director was completely won over by me. He said, “Teacher,” “You’re truly gifted by the heavens.” “In the future, for any workplace harassment scenes,” “I’ll come to you again.” I said, “Gifted by the heavens?” “What kind of gift is that?” “It’s prison food!” The best part is, this show was actually filmed, but it never aired. Because all my scenes were cut. It’s okay. Because I can understand. And I really do think that those who commit workplace harassment should all be cut out. Alright. Thank you, everyone. I’m Bulala. Come on, let’s give a round of applause to Bulala. Thank you. At the same time, let’s invite Daguoshou back to the stage. Let’s take a look at the two stand-up comedians. Their final votes are… Congratulations to Daguoshou for advancing to the next round. Good luck! Thank you. The next group will have a one-on-one battle between Gaohan and Xiaosiye. Gaohan and Xiaosiye. The next performer coming on stage has a performance style that can be summed up in one phrase: “Half-alive, half-dead.” Please welcome Gaohan! Friends, and good afternoon to the friends upstairs as well. My name is Gao Han. Actually, I am a second-generation rich kid. My dad raises chickens. He raises ten thousand chickens. People in the village all call him the Chicken King. Some people also call him Egg Boss. As the son of the Chicken King, I am the Chicken Prince. I think chickens are very pitiful. Chickens have no human rights. Just to avoid wasting feed, we eat the chickens that grow slowly. You don’t have to do this with small-scale chicken farming. But our family’s chicken farm is a big one. Big farms have to eliminate the weakest. Wolf culture. This wolf culture makes me eat chicken every day. It’s not just ordinary wolf culture. It’s weasel culture. Eating chicken every day Back then, I was in first grade. My deskmate asked me, He said, “Gaohan, what day is it today?” I said, “I don’t know what day it is for you,” “but for me, it’s always Thursday.” That’s how crazy it was. Even my diary was like “A Madman’s Diary.” Every page was filled with just two words. Eat chicken. Back then, my classmates were all jealous of me. They all hated me. There were always troublemakers trying to mess with the Chicken Prince. After class, for no reason, a classmate came over and pointed at me. He said, “You put hormones in your chicken feed.” I was stunned. I said, “No, I didn’t.” But I panicked. I said, “Uh, yeah,” “what’s wrong with hormones?” “Chickens love eating veggies.” Cut this part out. I asked the chicken. I said, “If I put some hormones in your feed, is that okay?” The chicken said, “Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.” I know you want to dock my pay. But my dad said this pun is okay to tell. Boss Dan approved it. It was 2006 back then. That era was really amazing. Only our family raised chickens. It gave us a sense of superiority. It made us feel proud. It also led to bird flu. All the chickens died. Dead chickens are worthless. Because no one in the village dared to eat them. Villagers wouldn’t eat their own chickens. They all died because my dad didn’t know how to cure them. He tried a folk remedy at the time. He put eggs in the chicken feed. I asked, “What are you doing?” Eggs are baby chickens. What do you expect the chickens to do after eating them? The chickens said, “I’m so full!” What a mess. The chicken questioned my dad. The chicken said, “What did you just put in my feed?” “What did you put in there?” My dad said it was baby food. This is like making a chicken eat eggs. Isn’t this just like that story in “Investiture of the Gods” with Ji Chang and Bo Yikao? I said, “Dad,” you, the chicken king, are like King Zhou. Overnight, you went bankrupt. Our family went from being Brahmins to being poor. I even wanted others to donate to our family. But there was no way to do it. Back then, there was no Shuidi Chill (crowdfunding). It’s so funny. My dad really had no idea how to treat them. He didn’t have any medical knowledge at all. He just learned to give chickens injections in four days. And learned to give chickens medicine in four days. He’s that kind of “4+4” person. So he couldn’t really treat them. He couldn’t treat them. We went bankrupt overnight. So I think life is really unpredictable. A lot of things are uncertain. If it weren’t for the bird flu outbreak, the chicken prince wouldn’t be here entertaining all of you ordinary folks. He just to be honest, I don’t really care about this competition. Because I think being the king of stand-up comedy is just like being the king of chicken farming— it’s all meaningless. What does being a king even get you? They all went to the other side. Some kings don’t even do stand-up anymore. Some kings can’t even do stand-up anymore. Only Hulan is left. Getting toyed with by capitalists in the stock market like a monkey. The king of the other show is literally called “Monkey.” So I really don’t understand why my friends work so hard for this show that they write scripts until they’re exhausted. I said, what are you all really after? Even if the production team told me and said, “Gaohan, this year I’ll make you the champion,” I’d only say one thing: Okay. I’d love to. I’m suited to be the champion. Because I won’t lose myself over this. I know all of this is just an illusion. The moment I become champion, I’ll definitely remember the most glorious time for my family. In 2006, my dad, in Gaolifang Town, at the livestock farmers’ awards ceremony, won the highest honor in the poultry industry: the Golden Rooster Award. He was the Best Breeder of the Year for the Golden Rooster Award. I saw how big our family chicken farm was. So I thought it would never collapse. But that day, in the chicken farm, I heard a few chickens coughing. I’d never heard chickens cough before. I’d only heard penguins cough on QQ (the social app). What does that mean? It means that since I was little, I’ve had a connection with Tencent. That’s not acceptable. Then the chickens started losing feathers like crazy. Our chickens were raised on a suspended rack. They were white-feathered chickens. Their feathers were white. I was shocked as soon as I entered the chicken farm. I said, “Oh my god.” It’s snowing. The first snow of 2006 fell in our chicken farm. It was like heavy goose feather snow. In one night, all ten thousand chickens died. My dad didn’t sleep that night. He just sat in the chicken farm all night, staring blankly. The next morning, I went to find my dad. I said, “Dad,” “Is there still hope for our lives?” My dad said, “There’s chicken feathers.” That’s all, thank you. It blew up. Gaohan, you’re amazing. Come on. Countdown to Gaohan locking in the tickets. Let’s give another round of applause to Gao Han. Mr. Shaogang, I wanted to say something just now. Well, While you were happily watching the performance earlier, there were two or three minutes when I experienced the most difficult two or three minutes I’ve ever had recording this kind of show. What happened to you? I didn’t notice. I went to the back to get some water. I accidentally knocked over the Meituan sign. Then I panicked like crazy. I was sweating a lot. Because last season, his performance was just average. I thought maybe I wouldn’t be able to press the light. So I thought, when it’s over, I need to explain that it wasn’t me who pressed it. I would get up and sincerely apologize to him. Maybe even bow. Even if it means showing my bald head. I had all these thoughts. But in the end, he did really well and made us proud. He kept delivering punchline after punchline. In the end, I felt like it was fate. I want to say something. Come on, Gao Han. Here’s what I think. I’ll give up these 10 votes. And let Mr. Luo bow to me. Just kidding. Don’t. No. Sit down. You can’t spoil this kid. Sit down. What a piece of junk. Sit down. First of all, No, teacher, don’t. I was just joking. I have a better suggestion. That is, I keep these 10 votes. I’ll bow to you. It’s over. Ashamed. So stunned. Crazy. Gao Han. Suppose If the one who just competed with you was Jia Hao, who do you think would win between you two? He won. Because that’s how Hao is. His performance rhythm is very mature. My rhythm is a bit inexperienced. I went up there with an inexperienced rhythm to follow his mature rhythm. I just couldn’t keep up. The audience was a bit annoyed with me. He felt that what you said was too new. Teacher Zhang. Hao. Gao Han didn’t say that in private. Yesterday in the dressing room, in front of a few other new actors, he said he wanted to challenge Jia Hao this season. I heard it. Repeat what you said yesterday. Actually, what I said I wanted to challenge yesterday was Jia Hao. He’s considered a smaller name. Production team Can you arrange for the two of us to compete in the next round? Let the two of us compete. Were you pecked by a chicken when you were a kid? Pecked you? Gao Han, please step aside and rest for safety. I’d better run, I’m leaving. Gao Han seems very carefree. He doesn’t care about anything. And is especially indifferent. He’s got that cocky attitude. That vibe. But his jokes come one after another. He performs really well. So Gao Han is quite impressive. So Gao Han is quite impressive. The one who’s going to have a 1v1 battle with Gao Han just by hearing the name, what’s up? It sounds impressive. But I don’t know if the person lives up to the name. Let’s give a round of applause for Xiao Siye. Hello, everyone. I’m Xiao Siye. Thank you. I’m a second-generation poor kid. I’m currently renting an apartment in Shanghai. A couple of days ago, my roommate suddenly told me that living in this kind of reinforced concrete pigeonhole apartment in Shanghai feels very depressing. He wants to live in a sea-view apartment. I told him, don’t just talk about it, just keep drinking. I think this kind of house is pretty nice. Because I come from a small mountain village. The house my family lived in when I was a child was really run-down. Standing inside the house, you could see all the materials used to build it. All the raw materials were completely exposed. Stones, mud, and reeds. The whitewash on the wall couldn’t really be called whitewash. It was more like “sort of white.” The walls weren’t just falling apart, they were also damp. They would get moldy all the time. Especially during the rainy season. Every day, the walls at my house had a new “OOTD” (outfit of the day). Every day, I wanted to “unsubscribe” from them. To cover up these crumbling walls, my dad would stick things on them, like old newspapers and such. I could understand all that. But what I couldn’t understand was that he would put up some rather inappropriate idioms and sayings. “Persevere with determination.” I said, “Dad, our house is so run-down, do we really need to persevere with this?” Then you really are up to no good. But even after putting them up, they wouldn’t last long. He’d put up a layer, and it would rot away. Then my dad would stick a world map over “persevere with determination.” By the time I was ten, I realized this world was completely rotten. The walls are not only crumbling, but also full of cracks. So my house is deeply loved by animals. There aren’t just mice in this house. There are also geckos, scorpions, and centipedes. It’s my home’s foreign centipede guest. Weasels also visit my house often. Even though there are many animals, not a single one can be missing. Because I later discovered geckos eat scorpions, mice eat geckos, and weasels eat mice. Can you believe it? My house actually has a food chain. But my dad often breaks this food chain. He catches scorpions and fries them to eat. I was shocked when I first saw it. I said, “Dad, you eat scorpions, then what will the geckos eat?” My dad said, “It’s fine. Geckos can eat mosquitoes. I’ve got it all arranged.” So our family often eats scorpions. They’re actually quite tasty. It wasn’t until I grew up that I realized scorpions have always been expensive. Now if you check, they cost six or seven hundred yuan per jin. I don’t even dare to calculate because I’m afraid if I do, our family of four, over more than 20 years, has eaten the equivalent of an apartment in Shanghai. My home really is too shabby. That’s why I can’t stand some Versailles-style writing. For example, when we studied texts before, like “Inscription of the Humble Room” by Liu Yuxi, I just couldn’t understand it at all. I thought, how is this shabby? He just said, “This is a humble room,” but didn’t say what was actually shabby about his home. Then he started talking about his own virtue. Saying things like, “The green of the grass comes through the curtain,” That doesn’t show what’s shabby about your home. Right? If your home were really as shabby as mine, could you keep quiet about it? By the end, even Liu Yuxi himself started to doubt. He even asked, “What is humble about it?” I thought, exactly. I want to ask you too, what’s humble about it? Why don’t you come see my home? My home is really humble. I think if Liu Yuxi had come to my home before going back to his, he wouldn’t have been able to write “Inscription of the Humble Room.” He should have come to my home first, then gone back to his and taken a look. He would have said, “This— ‘Rhapsody on the Epang Palace.'” Of course, don’t get me wrong. I’m not proud of my family’s poor condition or anything like that. That’s not what I mean. Living in a house like this, I actually feel pretty self-conscious. I only played with classmates from my own village. Because those from my village already knew how rundown my house was. They all lived in apartment buildings. But when they came to visit me, I still felt a bit inferior. Even though they never said anything about my house being shabby, I knew they were just seeing it but not mentioning it. That’s why I didn’t want anyone to come to my house. But I never expected that one day, the English teacher would suddenly bring a TV and say he needed it fixed. My dad can fix TVs. I thought if the teacher found out how shabby my house was, it would be so embarrassing. But I felt like the teacher probably only knew that someone in this family could fix TVs. He might not know it’s my dad. Right? So I said, “Teacher,” “you’re here to fix the TV too?” “Then you go ahead and fix it first.” “I’m leaving now.” But then the teacher said, “Even your dad makes you wait in line to get your TV fixed?” I said, “Yes.” Actually, I didn’t have to wait in line. “So I cut in front of you.” I used to think living in a house like this was already miserable enough. Until one day, I heard my dad say this house isn’t ours. We don’t own a house. This house belongs to my uncle. He’s just letting us live here. At that moment, this shabby house completely broke my defenses. I asked, Dad, then what do we actually own? Is this bed ours? No. What about the wardrobe? That’s not ours either. I said, you— Stop talking. Right now, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable too. So after all these years working in society, struggling for so long, what have you achieved? Could it be that all you have to show for it is me? That’s why I’ve always wanted to have my own place to live. I kept urging my dad to build a house. At first, we didn’t build one because we really didn’t have the money. But even after we had money, my dad still didn’t build it. He kept hesitating, not sure whether to build in the village, or buy a place in town, or save up for a down payment and just buy in the city. So can you imagine, our family living in that rundown house for so many years, all because we had too many choices? But just a couple of years ago, my family finally built a new house in the village. It was definitely a bit late. It’s like the toy car I wanted when I was eight, if you give it to me when I’m twenty, it doesn’t mean anything anymore. The house I wanted is like a can of food, it has an expiration date. Because now what I want is a villa in Shanghai. So building it was really too late. That’s why toward my dad, I actually have some complaints. For example, he’s always urging me to get married now. But I don’t want to. I have every reason to respond to him. He says, “If you don’t get married,” “then in front of relatives and friends,” “how can I hold my head up?” Well, just be like I was when I was little, just feel inferior, that’s all. That’s all I have to say. Thank you, everyone. Champion. Impressive. Countdown to Xiao Siye’s ticket lock Come on Another round of enthusiastic applause Impressive What I like most is his Xiao Siye character confronting Liu Yuxi that part was absolutely brilliant It was amazing This was so vivid Did the four of us light the lamps together? Yes His “What’s so humble about it” You know, I’ve always had a I don’t know if it’s a guilty pleasure but I really enjoy reinterpretations of all the texts we studied as kids and all those references from what we learned I really like that And I think Xiao Siye is the first From your very first line you basically won me over From your very first joke, you kept getting more and more explosive I think this is especially impressive. There’s a saying in singing called “stunning from the first note.” The very first line just blows you away. And that’s exactly the effect he has. But what’s even more amazing about him is because he grabs you with the first line, he has to be even better after that. Right. And his puns, aren’t lowbrow at all. He used two puns in the middle. How could that be considered lowbrow? Right? Not lowbrow at all. How could that be considered lowbrow? And I also want to say, this round is quite rare. It’s a big showdown between someone from a poor background and someone from a wealthy background. In the history of this talk show, usually the person from the poor background wins. Is it because the larger audience feels more emotionally connected to the person from the poor background or recognizes them more, or something like that? I don’t think that’s the case at all. Today, even though Gao Han, in my mind, He truly deserves to be a finalist. But I still think I’m a bit inferior to him. So in that sense, I want to give a warning. The time left for the rich second-generation contestants in China is running out. If you don’t work hard, you’ll be completely eliminated by the less privileged second generation. Yes, that’s really impressive. Thank you. What year did you start performing? Yeah, how did you get started? At first, I just thought after graduating from college, I might not be able to find a good job. And I really liked stand-up comedy. So then… Yeah. I wanted to try and see if I could do stand-up. But at that time, I was in Shanghai. I was a complete newcomer. I didn’t have any chance to get on stage. And I have to thank the boss of Sixiao Comedy. He discovered you. He told me to apply for the job of checking tickets at the door. That way, I could get a chance to perform. Yes. So, thanks to Sixiao Comedy. Thank you. Is the house better now? Yes, my family built a new house a couple of years ago. It was actually the biggest worry of my first twenty years. Because for the first twenty years of my life, I lived in that house. Today, I’ll take you to see the old house where I lived for twenty years. First, I need to take a three-hour high-speed train ride. Then take a bus to the neighboring town. That takes about two hours. Because our town doesn’t have a high-speed rail, and there’s no bus station either. So for the last leg of the journey, my dad drives a three-wheeler to pick me up from the neighboring town. Then it’s another half hour or forty minutes by three-wheeler. Then we arrive at our village. Here we are. This is the house. Because there’s a mountain over there, that’s the only way out of the village. Look, there are gaps everywhere. So mice and all kinds of animals can crawl in very easily. You know, there used to be a bed here. My dad and I used to sleep here. Of course, the elders always hope you get married early. That means my major life event is taken care of. Yes. That’s how all the elders think. As soon as you walk in, my dad probably thought the wall was too shabby, so he put up our award certificates and calendars on it. The window— my dad has lived here for twenty years. Over twenty years. He still doesn’t install glass. Have you been on any other online shows before? I was on one three years ago. It was the fifth season of “Rock & Roast.” Yeah. Was it just the audition or did you make it onto the show? I made it onto the show. And then got eliminated in the first round? Yeah. I did really badly. So I don’t really remember. That’s normal. Was I there that year? No. Da Zhangwei was there. Right, I knew it would be my turn. I’ve been waiting forever. I was wondering how to get here, there’s so much light everywhere. Do you remember? I called the car, it’s here. Right? Driver. The last digits. No. But you still have to say it like that. Just say that— Yeah. And then that— What? What? We can’t say that today’s progress isn’t better than before, that it wasn’t as impressive as today. Actually, it was because it wasn’t delivered well back then. Just starting out, right? It was the first year at that time. The very first year. Yes. Not even a full year. So the main judge didn’t give you the light back then, right? Yes, that’s right. Get to the point. I’m the only regular left until now. Only I remain. And now we’re digging up the past. Aren’t we? It’s fine. There will be more chances to get the light in the future, I hope. Thank you for your kind words. I’d really like to hear from this gentleman. Gao Han, what do you think? Actually, as a fellow performer, I listened to Xiao Siye’s open mic a couple of days ago. I feel that if he put that “He Lou Zhi You” bit at the end as a closer, as a peer, I think his votes might have been higher. But I was afraid he’d beat me, so I didn’t tell him. I think Gao Han doesn’t really understand creating material. Technical discussion. That’s right. He also doesn’t understand manners. You two. You’re here. Please stand in your positions. Let’s check the votes. Their vote count is… Not bad, I’m quite satisfied. Because I was hardly nervous. It’s better than I expected. But actually, I feel that the jokes weren’t as good as last year’s. But maybe my performance has improved. No. We can’t do that. Wait. Wait light. Four votes short. Four votes. Teacher Da, you used your wait light. Yes, I had to use it. Congratulations. Xiao Siye. Gao Han. You’ve entered the advancement zone. Let’s give them both a round of applause. You can do it. Don’t go in, go down. Gao Han Tai He just reminds me of how I used to be when I was annoying to others and actually enjoyed it Gao Han’s joke really woke me up That unresolved feeling just hits you with something totally unreasonable A Northeastern bankrupt literature is just amazing What nonsense! And then Xiao Si Ye The first time I saw four characters light up four lamps Two “lunatics” meeting each other feels like maybe a bit silly in the head but their personalities are sharp and they have a sense of humor The two of them are just the most genuine people Because offstage, stand-up comedians are always roasting each other always being mean to each other always mocking each other Then I want this one the hope of the whole village because the hope of the whole village because his is a bit similar to mine I am the hope of the whole village Can these two country folks really make it? I have to get rid of him There can only be one country person on this show What’s your village called? Is it in the town? No. It’s in the village. Which village? Suzhou City, Anhui Province. Qiaohe Village, Xialou Town, Lingbi County. Then you lose. I’m from Group 1 of Yong’an Village. I’m even more rural than our “tun” (hamlet). Our hamlet is called Hulu Head. I’m below the village level. There’s even another level. An administrative unit. Anyway, I’m at the very bottom of the village hierarchy. That’s not true. You’re not as rural as I am. Liaoning Province. Anshan City. Tai’an County. Gaolifang Town. Yong’an Village. Group 1. Does your family farm? What do you grow? Wheat and corn. We grow corn and rice. Is there even a comparison here? The wheat versus rice debate. Even “rice” has its own way. Forget it. The two contestants about to compete are Jichi and Wang Ying The first to take the stage is a new friend from Huishuoxiao Comedy Let’s welcome, from Guangdong, Jichi Hello Hi, everyone Nice to meet you all, my name is Jichi Thank you all Thank you Thank you Thank you Yes, my name is Jichi First, I want to thank the Gao Han family for raising me Thank you No need, you’re welcome This is my first time on this stage I’d like to ask the guys here Brothers How did you all realize that you’re not that good-looking? Haven’t realized yet, right? Let me share a little tip about how I found out A while ago I posted a selfie on social media Posted a selfie A lot of girls clicked in to look and even tagged their friends to check it out and left three words “Your husband” The girls who get tagged will tag back. Your husband. I feel like a ball being kicked around. Your husband. Arranged marriages in the 21st century are pretty strange. Right? Seriously. I’m just an ordinary person. I really envy those unique contestants. I envy those with really high academic qualifications or actors with really low ones. They can introduce themselves right away. Like, “I’m from Peking University,” “from Shanghai Jiao Tong University,” “from a vocational college,” and the audience will all react. But me, I’m from Guangdong University of Finance and Economics. See? Silence is the second-tier university of tonight. No one respects this second-tier university. You know that? Seriously, no one respects it. Back then, I told my dad that I got into some finance university. My dad asked me if I could help him issue fake invoices. No one respects this school. At this school, I studied a very niche major called Real Estate Development and Management. At the time, I thought once I started working, with this kind of applied subject at a second-tier university, what they taught would be very straightforward. They actually teach you how to sell houses. After nine years of compulsory education, you start selling houses as soon as you enter college. The contrast is just too much. Before the college entrance exam, I was still memorizing Memorizing what? “May I have a million spacious houses” (a famous poem line). As soon as I entered college, I was saying, “Thirty thousand five hundred per square meter.” And what else? “To shelter all the poor scholars in the world and make them smile” (another poem line). Later, there was nothing I could do. Because anyone who knows about China’s real estate market also knows that our major has basically collapsed. It was canceled the second year after I graduated. My major is really something else. Even a major can end up unfinished. Later, I had no choice but to take the graduate school entrance exam. I wanted to improve my academic qualifications. I got into philosophy. I said, why am I poor? Poverty leads to reflection. Back then, when I got into philosophy, my dad went crazy. My dad mocked me sarcastically every day. He told me every day how great philosophy was. Just like real estate. Both are about superstructures. Philosophy is great. If you can’t find a job in the future, at least you can rationalize it to yourself. I could only try to persuade my dad. I said, it’s not like that. Don’t be so materialistic, right? Let’s think about things from a philosophical perspective. This is how Hegel would see it. There’s nothing. But in fact, it’s a kind of possession. I said, Dad, do you understand what I mean? My dad said, “I don’t have a son like you.” Because I can understand. Because philosophy and real estate are hard to combine. One is pure. The other reeks of money. It’s hard to imagine Socrates doing philosophy while also doing real estate. How would people ask him questions? Someone would go up to him and ask, “Mr. Socrates,” “what are the answers to the three big questions of life?” What are they? Mr. Socrates stubs out his cigarette, and says, “Location, location, and still location.” It’s just that feeling, right? It’s really uncomfortable. There’s nothing you can do. To be honest, when I took the graduate school entrance exam, it was just to improve my academic qualifications. But now that I’m looking for a job, I’ve realized it’s not like that. HR, besides looking at your highest degree, also checks your first degree. I didn’t understand at first either. The first time I went for an interview, the HR asked me, “What’s your first degree?” I said, “Sunshine Baby Kindergarten.” After the interview, I was eliminated. That feeling… And I think in this era, all young people are being compared and categorized. Right? Movies aren’t rated, but people are divided like cattle and horses. P5, P6, P7 job levels. Low-grade horse, mid-grade horse, high-grade horse. Every horse still thinks it’s a champion. Waiting for a talent scout. But after waiting so long, you just get Tian Ji. Tian Ji doesn’t train you either. Just keeps pushing you. Every day you ask Tian Ji, “Do we have to work overtime tonight?” Tian Ji says, “Go!” “Go!” Right? My horse would have to write a resignation letter on the spot. The resignation letter would just have six big characters. Boss, your horse is gone. I was really quite angry. And honestly, The graduate program I got into is actually pretty good. I got accepted into the Philosophy Department at Sun Yat-sen University. But when you hear about Guangdong University of Finance and Economics, you don’t have the same reaction. That’s just how people are. And when I mention the Philosophy Department at Sun Yat-sen University, friends who are familiar with the show probably think of another friend. Yu Xiangyu. He used to be a very good friend of mine. Yeah. He and I were in Guangzhou together doing stand-up comedy for four years. After he finished the show last year, I kept messaging him on WeChat. I asked him, “Bro, when are you coming back to Guangzhou so we can hang out?” Every time, he said he was busy and couldn’t come back. Busy and couldn’t come back. Later, I understood. Some things really can’t go back to the way they were. You know, after my buddy finished the show, my live performances became awkward too. Because there were always audience members posting those kinds of negative reviews, those kinds of comments. The one that left the deepest impression on me went like this: They said, “Both are from the Philosophy Department at Sun Yat-sen University, but the depth of Jichi’s jokes as a graduate student is clearly not as good as Yu Xiangyu’s as an undergraduate.” Looks like your first degree really matters. I’m asking, what are you trying to do? My heart hurts too, you know. I’ve come to understand one thing. Comparison and putting others down have always existed. No matter what era it is. I think, even if we went back to the Tang Dynasty, there would still be people leaving comments under Du Fu’s poems. Both are poets of the great Tang. Du Fu’s depth just can’t compare to Li Bai’s, at a glance. How could Du Fu even respond? All Du Fu could do is reply underneath. Real Du or fake Du. And have you ever thought about our Du Fu? How our Du Fu must feel? Our Du Fu is so wronged. Like a lovesick puppy. What do we write about every day? Missing Li Bai, remembering Li Bai. Springtime poems in memory of Li Bai. But when you turn around, Li Bai is writing “A Farewell to Wang Lun.” Seriously. When you moved from Guangzhou, I was the one who helped you move. I even cleaned your cat’s litter for you. But suddenly, Fu Hang became your best friend. The water of Peach Blossom Pool is three thousand feet deep, but it can’t compare to the passion I have for you. Many friends see this and ask if I’ve lost my composure. Is that so? Yes, I have lost my composure. We in real estate know best how to lose our composure. Everything’s been left unfinished. How could I not lose my composure? Like a thatched hut broken by the autumn wind. Alright. Really. I wrote this bit and came on this show not for anything else, I just want my friends to check in on WeChat more often. I really miss you on WeChat. My major has already been left unfinished. I don’t want my friendships to end up the same way. I want to protect my friendships. To me, friendship comes first. Education comes second. This is my “Stand-up and Their Friends 2”. At the same time, I also hope there can be less prejudice in this world. Let’s stop dividing things into first, second, and third, or top-tier, second-tier, and third-tier. Originally, there is nothing. Where could dust possibly settle? That’s all for today. Thank you all. Thank you. It’s really hard to perform after those two. Make the most of the final voting time. Countdown. Let’s give another round of applause to Jichi. Thank you. Thank you, friends. Thank you. This was Jichi’s first performance on this show. And the purpose of telling this bit is to find his buddy. To look for someone. A missing person notice. Mainly, just kidding. No. Because I think this is something I really want to talk about. Yeah. It’s about some prejudices. And about some friendships. Yeah. Before you talk about it, do you message him on WeChat? Tell him you’re on this show. And maybe say I did. Did he reply, “No need,” or something? No. He also replied with four characters. I was quite touched. He replied with four characters: “Good luck competing.” Impressive. He didn’t reply with three characters. “Who are you?” That’s awesome. Let’s give another round of applause to Jichi. Jichi, take a break. Will have a 1v1 showdown with Chicken Wing Wang Ying The unique thing about this contestant is she delivers a very calm performance to present very unsettling content. Please welcome Wang Ying with applause. Hello, everyone. My name is Wang Ying. I want to share with you my experience with illness. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Yes. I’m on the breast cancer track. But I’ve already recovered. You don’t need to be so nervous. I hesitated at first too. Whether or not to talk about this topic. But I decided I should talk about it. How do I tell if the audience votes for me because it’s funny or because they feel sorry for me? But then I thought, what I want are sympathy votes anyway. How did I find out I had this illness? My nephew was running around like crazy at home. He ran straight into my chest. My chest kept hurting after that. So I went to the hospital to get it checked. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, to be honest, I was a little angry. I asked the doctor, “Is it because that little rascal ran into me?” I had to blame something, right? I couldn’t blame myself. The doctor said no. In fact, because he ran into you, you were able to discover the illness so early. You’re the luckiest person here. Do you know that? I said, the luckiest person here isn’t it you? I’ve accepted it now. Getting sick wasn’t because of my nephew. The main reason I got sick was staying up late and eating takeout. That’s what my mom said. She just wanted to scare you a bit. After I got sick, one question kept bothering me. Why me? Why me? Later, I remembered something. When I had just graduated from college, I was really rebellious back then. I shaved my head. People kept asking me, “Why did you shave your head?” I got annoyed by all the questions. So I told them, “Because I have cancer.” “I’m undergoing chemotherapy.” Thinking about that really startled me. Oh wow. What if the heavens thought I was making a wish back then? After I was hospitalized, the doctor told me the surgery plan was a full mastectomy. That meant removing an entire breast. That news was quite a shock. I cried as soon as I heard it. Because I knew I was losing more than just a breast. I was also losing my right to choose a partner for the next 50 years. While crying, I glanced at my boyfriend. At that moment, I think we were both thinking the same thing. It’s over. Now it’s not so easy to change partners. I’m not saying that if a woman loses a breast she can’t find a boyfriend. I know some women are outstanding, very charming. Even if you lose a breast, you could still find someone, even if you had an extra one. I’m just saying it’s really hard for me. Later, my boyfriend told me he doesn’t mind that I’m sick, and he wouldn’t break up with me because of it. He’s actually a pretty good guy. But I’ve heard a saying: There are no naturally good people, only civilized people who are restrained. So I want to make his “not minding” known to everyone, so that everyone together can help keep him civilized. My boyfriend is actually pretty nice, but he really has a smart mouth. Before I got sick, the two of us happened to discuss that scene from “Friends” about the sensitive spots on a woman’s body. After I decided to have a mastectomy, he said, “Doesn’t that mean you’ll have one less sensitive spot?” I said, “Even though I lost one sensitive spot, I’ve gained a new one.” Watch your words when you talk to me. The doctor said I can have reconstruction surgery. They can put in an implant. But it will be very painful. The recovery period is also very long. I’m afraid of pain, so I refused. The doctor kept trying to persuade me. Saying I should think it over carefully. You’re still young. Shouldn’t you consider your boyfriend’s opinion? What if he wants you to get the implant? I said if he wants the implant, let him get it. He can get two if he wants. I can understand the doctor’s concerns. A lot of people think that losing a breast makes you incomplete. I even had friends come over just to comfort me. They told me not to feel incomplete. The Amazonian women warriors would cut off their right breast to make archery easier. For them, being whole meant not having a right breast. But I said, I had my left one removed. If I were one of them, my left side would be incomplete, and my right side would be unnecessary. The night before the surgery I was pretty nervous The four patients in our ward couldn’t sleep Our family members the people closest to us in the world were snoring I couldn’t fall asleep so I looked around and found that only my mom was still awake I was really touched at that moment I felt like my mom loved me the most I said, “Mom, you can’t sleep either?” My mom said, “How could I possibly sleep?” “The snoring is so loud” Before the surgery they wheeled me to the hallway outside the operating room In the long hallway I was the only one lying there It was easy for my mind to wander My head was filled with thoughts like What if the surgery fails What if it can’t be cured Could it be a misdiagnosis How much compensation would a misdiagnosis get All sorts of thoughts like that Later, to ease my fear I wanted to sing But I was so scared my voice was trembling I lay there singing “Two Tigers” “Two tigers run fast” The more I sang, the worse I felt One of them has no eyes One has no ears But they are both tigers with eight breasts The surgery was quite successful. After the surgery, I stayed in the hospital. I chatted with other patients. I would hear some strange suggestions. One patient said that we shouldn’t eat seafood. Because seafood isn’t good for wound healing. Another patient said we shouldn’t eat sweets. Because cancer cells like sugar. Another patient said, “That’s not right.” The doctor didn’t tell me that. He told me that if I wanted to eat something, I should just eat it. I’m still undergoing endocrine therapy. Endocrine therapy involves menopause injections and taking medication. The menopause injection stops my periods. So, at 30 years old, I’m already in menopause. It’s a bit awkward to be menopausal at this age. Because I have the bad temper that comes with menopause, but I don’t have the family status that usually comes with it. I often, for no reason, just want to yell at my boyfriend. But then I think, I didn’t raise him, after all. My current endocrine therapy still has three years to go. Now I get hot flashes, fatigue, and feel really uncomfortable. When I think that in over twenty years I’ll have to go through menopause again, I feel especially miserable. My friend comforted me by saying, “Fate is still fair.” “It may close a door for you, but it opens a window.” “Even though you now have only one breast, you get to experience menopause twice.” Many people experience some changes after surviving a serious illness. They go through some changes. They become more open-minded. They care less about what others think. I didn’t have those changes. Because I never cared in the first place. I feel like all these years, my odd behavior has finally gotten an explanation. Turns out, I’ve always lived like a cancer patient. Now when people ask me, “Why don’t you get a proper job?” I say, “Because I have cancer.” “Why are you so harsh?” “Because I have cancer.” “Why did you get cancer?” “Because I like asking people why.” No. There is one benefit to having cancer. I used to talk like this before. People thought I was crazy. Now they just think I’m sick. Before the surgery, I didn’t wear a bra for years. There were always those men on the street who would stare straight at my chest. It was really annoying. Now I still don’t wear a bra. You can see it’s still pretty obvious. One side is full, the other is empty. Because I want to give those creepy guys a little confusion. That’s all for now. Thank you, everyone. Wang Ying ticket lock channel countdown. I’ve seen it before. That video clip of Wang Ying. I really liked it at the time. And your performance today was actually even better than when I saw you perform live before. You seemed even more effortless. It was smoother. Even though it’s a sad topic, you made us laugh without any emotional burden. That’s the mark of a great piece and excellent performance skills. So I really admire you. Thank you. Wang Ying really performed this bit on stage with such ease. Sometimes, no matter how good the material is, if it’s not delivered freely, it might make the audience feel a certain pressure. Right. That was great. Wang Ying’s performance today was truly outstanding. Because when many people face something that would definitely make them very afraid, a performance like Wang Ying’s It truly brings a sense of comfort and peace to the heart. And then I feel that kind of feeling is especially She just said something and I almost started crying. What she said, she said she has always lived like a cancer patient. I feel that all my odd behaviors over the years have finally found an answer. It turns out I have also been living like a cancer patient. The key point is that moment really moved me deeply. I think sometimes, even if you’re not sick, or whether you are sick or not, living in this world, you have to find your true self and the path you should take. That’s really wonderful. Alright. As female audience members, she faces her own body directly, and expresses certain things that I personally really like. It gives me a lot of strength. Thank you. Alright. Let’s give another round of applause to Wang Ying. Here we go. Let’s take a look at the voting results for Jichi and Wang Ying. Wang Ying, 242 votes has successfully advanced to the next round Jichi, 202 votes will continue to wait in the pending area Jichi did great I mainly want those who also have breast cancer and other viewers who are ill or anyone else facing difficulties to tell them not to care too much about what others think it doesn’t matter Because when I was in the hospital I saw other patients and I felt that they had a lot of pressure coming from the outside world about how people view their illness As for myself I don’t really care about that So I want to pass this mindset on to them Now about to meet everyone are the two contestants for the 1V1 battle I’m smarter than him. You’re smarter than him. Let me see who’s smarter. You’re confused. You didn’t give anyone a heads-up in advance. None of these three are smart. We’re the emergency exit. We’re also from Hui Shuo Xiao Comedy. Let’s hear what Teacher Li Mengjie has to say. Let’s terminate the contract. I really don’t know. Who’s actually smarter than whom? We chatted among ourselves before the competition. We were just joking around. We said we’d end up having an internal battle. At least one of us would make it. But we didn’t expect that it really would be an internal battle. The two of us and Wu Ding hang out together more often. First, my home and Wu Ding’s are very close to each other. Second, we all share a common hobby. We play board games. Basically, we get together every week or two for a meal. Even the captain’s cat often comes to our place to play. And our cat and their cat don’t really get along. It feels like fate. Everyone should remember Wu Ding. Because he was here last season. He wasn’t satisfied with his own performance. He devoted himself to improving. And now he’s making a fresh start. Let’s give a round of applause for Wu Ding. Hello, everyone. I’m Wu Ding. Hi, everyone. Thank you. And my name is Wu Ding. This is my second time on the show. Last year, I got eliminated too quickly. I came here from Hangzhou to record. I was eliminated in the early morning. By noon, I was already sitting at home. High-speed rail is really convenient. I thought I was dreaming again. Did I not get selected this time? I felt really upset. I also want to advance. I also want to write memorable quotes. I went back and focused on improving myself. I did research. I read books. I read classics. The Brothers Karamazov. This book is really good. But I couldn’t get into it. All good books are like that. I read it for a year. I read the first three chapters three times. Karamazov really got me stuck. I thought, if this doesn’t work, I’ll just look up the famous quotes. So I searched online for its famous quotes. When I looked, I realized this book is a bit outdated. Its famous quotes aren’t popular at all. Like “God and the devil are fighting.” “The battlefield is in the human heart.” It’s too obscure. The kind of quotes I want are simple, easy to understand, and popular. Like “The starlight rewards those who keep going.” “Time rewards those who are determined.” That’s so classy. I looked it up. This quote is from Da Bing. “I Don’t.” Picked the wrong classic. And honestly, reading books these days it’s really hard to concentrate. You read two pages, then start scrolling through short videos. Read two pages, then scroll through short videos again. Ever since I started reading, I’ve been spending two extra hours a day on Douyin videos. Now I’m totally hooked on those vertical short dramas. You know, the really cheesy ones. Like “the three-year promise is up,” “Welcome the Dragon King back to the palace,” The first time I saw one, I scoffed at it. I thought, “What kind of mindless trash is this?” How could anyone get addicted to this? But by late at night, I was getting anxious watching them. I was like, “Why do I have to pay for the next episode?” Did the Dragon King die or not? Now I realize people like me just love consuming junk. There are creators online, consumers, and I’m a decomposer. I scour the internet for trash to consume. On the internet, I’m basically a cyber fly. Wherever there’s trash, you’ll find me. I’m so happy every night. I found another short drama. I’ve watched so many short dramas that I’m a bit obsessed. I write jokes now. I’ve even started writing those feel-good stand-up routines. Let me share one I wrote recently. Pay attention. I wake up from a car accident. I find myself back at the moment before I was eliminated from the variety show. The global stand-up comedy level has dropped a hundredfold. Only I am reborn with my memories. This time, I’m going to change everything. As soon as I open my eyes, Zhang Shaogang points at me and says, Wu Ding, you’re eliminated. I say, You’ll regret this. Zhang Shaogang gets furious and says, You useless fool. How dare you talk back. Throw him out. Over fifty security guards rush up, about to beat me. Suddenly, a figure descends from the sky. Stop! I look closely, it’s actually Li Dan. All the audience members are shocked too. What? Even Boss Dan has come out of retirement? Who is this guy? Li Dan ignores everyone else and walks straight up to me. Greetings, Divine Lord. The entire audience was shocked. What? Could he be the legendary God of Hilarious Humor? I thought you said Helicobacter pylori. The whole audience went completely wild. That’s just too funny. This pun technique, has been lost for a hundred years. I stood on stage and gave a wicked smile. Stand-up comedy is about to change forever. This is the material I’m writing now. I spent a year at home reflecting. I didn’t come up with any golden lines. Instead, I ended up writing short skits. I thought, isn’t this a waste? I told myself I had to figure something out. In the end, I came up with a self-rescue plan. Let’s not look at anything else. Self-discipline. Cut off all sources of temptation. Make a self-discipline plan. Go to bed early and get up early. Create for six hours every day. I failed on the very first day. At 10 p.m. on the first day, I was lying in bed. I started going over my plan for the next day. Get up at 8 a.m. Do cardio on an empty stomach. Create for six hours. Write 200 punchlines. The more I thought about it, the more I started daydreaming. I thought, this is way too disciplined. With this much discipline, I’ll definitely be famous next year. By then, I’ll make ten million. How should I spend it? Then I started planning how to use this money that doesn’t exist. My first thought was to put it in the bank and live off the interest. Ten million in a fixed deposit. Such a conservative way to manage money. You can tell right away it’s an old poor person’s mindset. There’s nothing you can do. A person’s imagination is limited by their material conditions. Have you ever seen a poor person write a wish-fulfillment story? Granny Hu’s 80th birthday. Luxury cars gather at her doorstep. Peng, Lai, and Di all show up to compare their cars. I fantasize about buying a villa. At the time, I thought I should buy one near the subway. It would make commuting easier. There was no other way. So I started looking it up. Which bank offers the highest interest rates. The Rural Credit Cooperative. For over three years, the highest interest rate is 2.15%. If I put my ten million in there, and do nothing all year, I’d get 215,000 a year. With my spending habits, I’d be financially free. I could even save over a hundred thousand a year. I’d save up and invest more in the Rural Credit Cooperative. (Genius) Money makes more money. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. I even planned how I’d deposit the money. I’d dress in shabby clothes. I’d carry my cash in a woven bag. And go to the Rural Credit Cooperative. The bank manager would definitely look down on me. As soon as I walk in, he’d slap me. Where did this beggar come from? How dare you come into our bank? I’d stay calm and collected. Open up my woven bag. Open your eyes and take a look. The cash would shine straight up to the sky. The manager would say, What is this? Even the bank president would be alarmed. He’d jump straight down from the third floor. And slap the manager. Idiot! Do you have any idea that no one in the whole city of A could come up with ten million? You’re fired. Sir, I’m sorry. I failed to recognize someone important. I apologize. This is our Rural Credit Cooperative’s Global VIP Black Card. And I’d also like to give you a book. It’s full of golden quotes. It’s called “Be Good, Pat Your Head.” The more I think about it, the more excited I get. The more I think, the more immersed I become. At that moment, I had already forgotten that I didn’t have that ten million. Man, I’m just playing with virtual currency. Honestly, I love fantasizing way too much. I originally planned to go to bed early. But I ended up doing imaginary investing until 2 a.m. My success doesn’t come from hard work. It’s purely from imagination. Success, imagination edition. Now I just love fantasizing. After fantasizing so much, I’ve even come up with a new idea. I think fantasizing is more cost-effective than working hard. I’ve thought about it carefully. Friends, working hard doesn’t guarantee success. But it definitely makes you tired. My fantasies might not come true, but they definitely feel great. If you succeed through hard work, you gain fame and fortune, enjoy life, and eventually find happiness. But I get happiness straight from fantasizing. I don’t even have to try yet. Bro, it’s pure happiness. The shortcut in life is to live in your imagination. The biggest advantage of imagination is that imagination never goes wrong. Reality isn’t like that. The happiest part of traveling is before you leave. You imagine how unique the destination will be. But when you get there, you realize it’s all the same. Potato spirals, grilled sausages, giant squid. I miss you a lot here in Shanghai. The happiest part of online shopping is waiting for the delivery. You imagine that outfit will look amazing on you. But when the clothes arrive, you realize it’s the model who looks good. It’s the same with falling in love. The happiest time is when you just meet. You imagine how great the other person is. You think you’ve found a prince. But when the mask comes off, it’s just Yangzi. That’s real life. The shortcut in life is to live in your imagination. I’ve endured for a year. I’ve figured it out. Today, I’m sharing it with you for free. This time, coming on the show, my main goal is to enlighten everyone. There’s no time left. I didn’t even write a script. I was just going to say one thing. 99% of people in our country are living the wrong way. Now, dream with me. When the show airs, viewers across the country will definitely have an epiphany. That’s right. Thank you, Master, for enlightening us. We will always follow the Divine Lord. Thank you, everyone. I’m Wu Ding. Thank you. Hilarious Divine Lord. Everyone, hurry up and vote for the Divine Lord. Come on. Wu Ding’s vote-locking countdown. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Wu Ding. Teacher. Sorry. We just needed a villain. And it just happened to be you. You need a villain. There are so many villains in the world. What I want to say is, I really don’t care. Who would challenge the Lord? Just look at this mindset. That’s great. This year has really been The short play has elevated you. You’re a different person compared to last season. No. This is the real me. Last season was fake. Heaven’s favored one. Burned alive. Because last season, I thought It was my first time here, Maybe I should write something I thought was more mainstream. But then I found it didn’t work well. So I said, I’ll just be myself. When you pass by a mirror, do you salute yourself? Salute to the Lord. Didn’t recognize greatness right in front of me. Turns out it was a mirror. I really love it. What you said about golden quotes, I think it’s already golden. It’s already a quote. It’s so golden, so quotable. The shortcut in life is imagination. Isn’t that right? This sentence enlightened me. Alright. Time’s almost up. Teacher Da, Seriously, No matter how much we have, in the end, it’s all for happiness. Right? You’ve already been living in that state of happiness ahead of time. That’s called pre-made happiness. I did record it. But I hesitated for a long time. Yeah. Why does this happen? It’s because even though everyone was laughing happily the whole time, his kind of vulgar jokes make people feel a strong sense of shame. Just like the people around us, many people watch short dramas even if they watch them secretly, and pay for them in secret, when they get to work, they pretend not to watch, and say, “I don’t watch that kind of stuff.” From your company? Yes. That’s right. Think back for a moment to Stephen Chow’s early years. He also took those vulgar elements and deconstructed them. But as he progressed, the depth and meaning of his work became much more profound. Even though it was still nonsensical humor and deconstruction, I really hope to see that in this field, you don’t just stay at the current level, where it’s just simple and fun. Alright. Thank you, Teacher Luo. On the stand-up comedy stage, this is the first time someone has talked about micro-short dramas like this, and even turned micro-short dramas so smoothly into their own stand-up comedy material. That’s impressive. Thank you, everyone. Take a break. The ones going up against Wu Ding are a duo of manzai comedians. They’re also from Hui Shuo Xiao Comedy. In manzai, usually one plays the fool, and the other is the straight man. But these two are both fools. But these two, their unique trait is they both think they’re smarter than the other. Please welcome Emergency Exit! Hello, everyone. There’s one up there too. Hello, everyone. I’m B-zai. I’m Captain. We are Emergency Exit. Thank you, everyone. I’ve been watching a lot of these short videos lately. Me too, I’ve watched a lot. Watching short skits. Not watching short skits. I’ve watched a lot of those videos exploring fancy restaurants. I love watching those too. Right? I’ve never been. Never been. Let me ask you, if you had the chance, If I had the chance? What kind of chance? would make you choose to go eat at a fancy place like that? What is this? Slow down, slow down. What is this? A partner suddenly died. A partner suddenly died. You went to a banquet. Although I haven’t been there, I think places like that must really care about service. I think so too. Let’s try this. Okay. Serve me for a bit. Alright. Hello, sir. Hello. I’ve been waiting for you. Thank you. If it’s just one, please have a seat. This is our menu. Please have a look. Sir Please don’t break our iPad (tablet). This is an iPad (tablet). Sorry. You have quite a grip. How about I get this seafood set? Seafood set. The seafood set is a bit more complicated. There’s a step where you pick the ingredients. You choose the ingredients on the spot. Today’s ingredients are king crab, tuna, “livor fish,” and grouper. “Livor fish” sounds like this fish has been dead for a year. Grouper. You chose the grouper. Yes. So, grouper, what’s your choice? I choose Na Ying’s team. Why is there a counter-pick round? Now we’re picking mentors? Then I’ll pick king crab. King crab. Yes, king crab. Sorry, sir. We’re out of king crab. Just now, the king crab was overthrown by the worker crabs. I hear your accent You’re from the Northeast Yes, from the Northeast Please allow me to make a dish for you Chicken with mushrooms Chicken stewed with mushrooms Chicken mixed with mushrooms Chicken mixed with mushrooms Is that edible? Hey Don’t underestimate our chicken mix Who has a bond with you? What are you getting all fired up about? We don’t use ordinary chickens here Not ordinary chickens What we use here are all carefully bred by ourselves flat-beaked chicks flat-beaked chicks Right Isn’t that just a duckling? A quacking duckling, isn’t it? That’s called a duckling Duckling Duckling that makes beef Don’t make beef Don’t let the duckling make beef Just let the duckling be itself Okay? So fired up Fired up my ass Thank you, everyone We are Safe Exit Thank you. I feel that manzai itself is a very difficult art form to master. Yes. It’s because you have to act crazy and silly. Almost like someone with a mental disorder. In their performance, it seems there’s still a bit of cleverness left. The word “left”— means being completely silly. Completely like someone with a mental disorder. They’re still just a little bit away from that. If they acted a bit more unhinged, or a bit sillier, they would reach that perfect state. Right now, there’s still some cleverness. Right? After all, this is their first appearance on this stage. They’ve already performed very well. Let’s invite Wu Ding back to the stage. Let’s take a look at the voting results for the two outstanding groups of performers. Wu Ding, 240 votes Congratulations to Wu Ding for advancing to the next round Emergency exit Keep it up Will be in the pending area Humor Sage What is this short skit today Humor Sage This is the real Wu Ding Greetings, Sage Pretty silly But it’s also that kind of wildly imaginative state Unique I really love it I think true human wisdom has already been found by him Wu Ding, I admire him now He is the king of witty quotes I think he’s the modern Nietzsche I think he is the one who has found true human wisdom I like him so much The next group to compete Zhou Xinyu and Li Wen The first to take the stage Her performance is light and joyful Please welcome Zhou Xinyu with applause Hello, everyone. My name is Zhou Xinyu. Thank you. I was in a relationship last year. I dated a younger guy. There’s a 12-year age gap between us. Every time I get to this part, all the women in the audience react by saying, “I want that too!” The men in the audience only say, “Animal!” It was really fun. He was born in 2002. I was born in 2014. I’m mentioning our ages mainly to put everyone at ease. He’s an adult. We met at a dinner party. He’s really handsome. How handsome is he? As soon as I added him on WeChat, I sent his photo to all my girlfriends. And my girlfriends sent it to their girlfriends. The chain of sisters is endless. Some guys might worry when they hear this, that their own relationships will be shared around. That won’t happen. Then as we kept talking, I realized he had just graduated from college. I was really shocked at the time. Back then, I was about to become the older one dating someone much younger. It felt so strange. When I used to hear that phrase, I would picture myself as the “young grass.” I don’t even know when it started, but now I see myself as the “old cow.” Maybe it was when I became financially independent. I honestly think being the “old cow” is great. Only when you become the “old cow” do you realize that this “young grass” grows back every spring, again and again, year after year. A couple of years ago, I still had some fantasies about men needing to be good both inside and out. I still had some illusions. Two years ago, I was still having dinner with guys born in 2000. At the time, I thought no way, they’re so immature. Now, two more years have passed, and I’m having dinner with guys born in 2002. Now I think I was the one who was really immature before. Because I’ve realized as men get older, they don’t necessarily become more mature. But they definitely get older. So now I’ve decided I just like 22-year-olds. 22 is such a great age. 22 is when a man is at his best. Think about it. He just graduated from college. He’s still very fresh. And he’s capable of entering society. He doesn’t have much money yet. It’s exactly the age when he needs help. So I plan to help 22-year-olds this year. Next year, I’ll help 22-year-olds. The year after, I’ll help 22-year-olds. Really, of course. If he’s especially outstanding, we can make an exception. Accept his aging. Right? If he’s gentle and considerate, I can accept him being 23. If he’s emotionally stable, I can accept him being 24. So in the future, everyone can tell from my boyfriend’s age what his overall score is. I don’t just want to objectify handsome guys, I want to quantify them too. But after spending two months with this younger guy, I realized that this guy isn’t that simple either. He started running out of money. But it’s not a lot of money he’s short of. It’s not like he’s missing hundreds of thousands. He just needs thirty or fifty bucks. That’s hard to refuse, right? Right? If I don’t give him this little bit, he might not even make it to 24. He’s actually pretty simple. Every Thursday, he just has to go a little wild. You even find it kind of cute. I send him 50 every week. He spends 200 of my money every month. Two hundred every month. It sounds like I got a membership card with him. Other people in relationships talk about fate or destiny. I’m just a valued member. Sometimes, the 50 yuan I leave on the table suddenly disappears, and I realize I forgot to turn off the auto-renewal. Isn’t the stereotype of an older sister that she spends a lot of money on her younger brother? I don’t really want to clear up that misunderstanding now. So now, when people ask, I just say Yeah, it’s just like you imagine. If he wants something to eat, I just give it to him. I can’t just let the kid starve, right? So you get what I’m saying, right? If you date me, I’ll feed you. But providing a place to live is a bit much. I’m still pretty traditional. I think men should be raised with less. It’s not that he comes to me for things, he’s not even a materialistic guy. He’s just a guy who lacks material things. But I still really don’t like mixing money into relationships. So sometimes, I’ll ask one of my girlfriends. She’s the type who doesn’t trust men at all. She always tells me, “Women shouldn’t spend money on men.” “If you spend money on a man, you’ll have bad luck your whole life.” Then I sent her his photo. She said, “It’s fine to spend a little on this one.” 200 a month isn’t much. How many people are in his dorm? But to be honest, the most I’d spend on him is 200. Any more than that is out of the question. It’s not that I don’t have money. It’s that I have a sense of responsibility. I can’t drive up prices. Driving up prices leads to inflation. Once the young ones get inflated, they get spoiled. They even dare to order large fries. We broke up soon after. Because as the boy got older, his appetite grew too. He started wanting food every day, and also things to wear and things to play with. The reason we broke up was that my lagging productivity couldn’t keep up with the boy’s ever-increasing material demands. Originally, my script ended here. But a male actor told me, “There’s a problem with your script.” “You objectify people too much,” “treat them too much like tools.” “You’ll face backlash for that.” “You’ll face backlash for that.” I thought to myself, now you know how women feel. Sometimes I sigh as well. It feels like in this society, are there no guys who aren’t materialistic? I don’t know. That’s why I came on the show again. Every June, it’s graduation season for college students again. After all, flowers bloom again. There are six young men in a dorm room. I’ve decided not to be called Zhou Xinyu anymore. From now on, I’ll be called Zhaodi, Laidi, or Pandi. That’s all, thank you. Actually, Xinyu’s final expression was the key point of her speech. It’s that you finally understand how we feel. But she put this at the very end. So earlier on, many people might still feel an unspoken sense of being offended. At first, they didn’t dare to laugh. Later, there was a feeling that maybe it was too objectifying. In short, when this emotion drags on too long, by the time you reach your key point at the end, when you finally deliver it, it’s already impossible to bring back the atmosphere of the whole scene. Right. But this kind of expression is so important. Because only we can talk about this topic. Only then can certain issues be addressed seriously, without being greasy, and without being frivolous, and put on this stage. Actually, when there’s an age difference, it’s always assumed the man is older, and the woman is younger. This is a deeply ingrained concept for us. We’ve been conditioned to think this way. So her statement here is actually very I think it’s very brave. That’s why I feel I have to hit this light. That’s what I wanted to express just now. The meaning of this light Thank you, Teacher Luyu. First of all, I really admire you for talking about this topic. And now there are more and more female stand-up comedians who aren’t afraid to offend and talk about these things. I’m actually very happy about that. So I think there’s nothing wrong with your choice of topic. But this topic is relatively high-risk, that’s also a fact. Let’s give another round of applause to Xinyu. Thank you. The one competing with Xinyu is a newcomer on this stage for the first time. Please welcome Li Wen. Hi I’m Li Wen I’m a student I’m currently a graduate student in chemistry I’m already in my third year I’ve clearly realized that I’m not cut out for scientific research My thesis reads more like a comedy sketch It has no arguments only punchlines When I show my thesis to my advisor he starts making faces after just three seconds Every time he reads my thesis, it’s the same He even asks me He says, “This paper of yours where do you plan to publish it?” QQ Zone My advisor is a really nice person a very kind elderly professor The only problem is he’s a bit on the older side and has a certain way of speaking He has this habit of always using rhetorical questions Whenever he starts talking he’ll ask himself a question and then answer it himself and then answer it himself It feels like it has nothing to do with you He meets with us every week and always starts the meeting with, “Students, this experiment of yours, are you going to do it or not?” You have to do it So is it just about doing experiments? No. You also don’t know why he wants to. No one at the scene paid any attention to him. So besides doing experiments, what else needs to be done? That’s the question you all need to think about. It’s always like this. After a while, you really get confused. I really want to know. In his daily life, does he talk to people around him like this too? Especially my teacher’s wife. For example, when the two of them are dating, the professor walks up to his wife and says, Hi. I want to tell you something. The first time I met you, I thought you were how should I put it… beautiful. All this time, I’ve felt very what’s the word… moved by you. So does that mean I like you? This is a bit creepy, isn’t it? But I’m not making fun of my advisor. Because we have a really good relationship. We’re very close. We’ve known each other for three years. There was a time when we weren’t close. When I first arrived, the two of us, all day long, barely had any chances to meet. I really wanted to show myself in front of him. I wanted to impress him. I wanted to flatter him. And I happened to get a chance. He was going to drive his car and take me along on a business trip from Shanghai to Huzhou, Zhejiang. It would take two and a half hours. Guys, my advisor and I are both the type who aren’t good at talking or making conversation. So you can imagine two people like that sitting in a car together for over two hours. It was bound to be awkward. But I didn’t expect us to be so awkward that after saying the first sentence in the car, we couldn’t find a second thing to say. After getting in, he asked me, He said, “Li Wen, are you seated?” I said, “Yes, I’m seated.” And then he didn’t start the car. The two of us just sat there in a standoff. It lasted for about ten or twenty seconds. I said, “What does this mean?” I didn’t sit properly. But he was just a bit slow. So the situation became awkward. But fortunately, since I had thought it through, I planned to flatter him. The night before, I prepared three topics. I decided that after getting in the car the next day, I would first talk about our hometowns, then about age, and then about family. Two and a half hours passed quickly. After getting in the car, I started getting ready to talk. My advisor’s last name is Zhu. I call him Teacher Zhu. I said, “Teacher Zhu,” Where are you from? Mr. Zhu is very nice. He said I was from Hangzhou. I said Hangzhou. I wasn’t prepared. But I still told him. I said Hangzhou. There’s West Lake. He said yes. I said I’ve been there. Lingyin Temple. It’s actually quite spiritual. He said yes. It’s obvious. Mr. Zhu doesn’t like to talk much either. But he’s very emotionally intelligent. He could tell that I couldn’t keep talking. So he picked up the conversation. He said, “Xiao Li,” “Where are you from?” As soon as he asked, I got a little nervous. Because I had only prepared questions. I didn’t expect him to ask me anything. But luckily, his question was simple. So I just answered properly. I said I’m from Chengdu. He said it’s obvious. He wasn’t prepared either. I knew the conversation couldn’t go on anymore. If we can’t keep talking, it’s time for a new topic. The next topic I planned to ask about his age. So I asked him, I said, “Mr. Zhu,” “How old are you now?” After asking, it felt a bit awkward. As soon as we got in the car, after asking about his hometown, I started asking about his age. It felt like I was trying to pursue him or something. But Mr. Zhu is really a nice person. He told me, “I was born in 1963.” I said, “1963?” Okay. 1963. Year of the Rabbit. I was born in 1999. I’m also Year of the Rabbit. Mr. Zhu, What a coincidence! You’re 36 years older than me. So that means you’re 71 this year. Mr. Zhu was driving and looked at me, He said, “Xiao Li,” “I’m 61.” I sat there for a long time trying to process it. It took me a while to realize. I said, “61 years old.” And it really was. That’s still quite an old age. As soon as I said those three words, he stopped talking to me. Guys, it was obvious I had said something wrong. Very obvious. But you know, just sitting in that seat already made me really nervous. And saying the wrong thing made me even more nervous. When you get too nervous, your mind just starts spinning. Originally, the next topic was to talk about family. I wanted to ask about his wife. But after my mind started spinning, I suddenly had a thought. I thought, if I ask about his wife, what if his wife has already passed away? That would be so rude of me. Wouldn’t that be really offensive? This thought flashed through my mind in an instant. In a split second, I blurted out, I said, “Mr. Zhu,” “Are you single now?” I completely confused Teacher Zhu. Teacher Zhu was still driving. He turned around and said, It was just that awkward. That’s actually where the story ends. Some time ago, I went to ask Teacher Zhu. I said, “Teacher Zhu,” “I’m going to tell this story on a show.” “Do you still remember this?” For the past three years, every time I talk about this, I get so embarrassed I want to curl my toes. I think I did really badly back then. I must have left a really bad impression on you. He said, “I’ve already forgotten.” “This whole thing is in the past.” Things that are in the past should What should we do with them? Forget them. Thank you, everyone. That’s all for my story. I’m Li Wen. Bye-bye. Li Wen ticket lock countdown. Have you ever told this bit to Teacher Zhu? I haven’t told this bit to Teacher Zhu. Because I would This bit, on stage now, is only six or seven minutes long. But actually, off stage, this bit in total is over twenty minutes long. I kept because that car ride was really long. You kept talking, right? Yes. The car ride was long. There were also some other things that happened in the car. It’s tough luck being your teacher. I kept looking at Teacher Zhu through the window. Teacher Zhu asked, “What do you think?” This child still hasn’t left. Always remembers. So, what do you think of Li Wen’s performance? How was it? Very cute. Good, really nice. At that moment, I thought, Should I film this lamp or not? I have to film it. Many teachers have this habit. Do you have this habit? I don’t. I don’t. Because I remind myself. Let me give you an example. I didn’t use to do legal programs. And then there’s the guest. He really likes to use idioms when he talks. But he always leaves out the last word. And lets others finish it. He lets you— No, that’s not it. Listen to me. So, Shaogang, this case is— What is it? “Shocking to hear…” what? “…to hear about.” You can’t say “to hear about.” You can’t finish it with “to hear about.” That’s just his way of speaking. “Shocking to hear…” what? “…to hear about.” You can’t even do it in a performance. How was this comedy bit? Thank you, everyone. Teacher Da, this is manzai. Learning to be silent for you, is that a difficult thing? Yes, it is. Then let’s practice being silent first. It’s fine. Let’s try “striking the cow through the mountain.” Come on, come on. I’ll do it. Okay, let’s do it. “Shocking to hear…” what? I have no idea. Shocking to hear Three-person manzai Thank you, thank you Three-person manzai Because I’m a teacher So I really, really like Li Wen’s performance The observation of teachers is very accurate and extremely detailed There isn’t just one Teacher Zhu in this world They’re all Teacher Zhu Sometimes I really admire this kind of actor Actually, what he did is a trivial thing Yes, it’s trivial, that’s right You just talked about the teacher-student bond and all that That was all just feel-good talk I was already trying to elevate it You were just forcing it to sound deeper Right I just feel like it’s a trivial thing But he captured it extremely well With incredible detail And it makes us recall someone from our own life experiences someone who speaks with those quirky habits Even if they’re not exactly like him not a perfect match but someone similar It’s really interesting and brings a strong sense of joy and that feeling is just wonderful Actually, I want to add something to what you just said Because I want to especially thank an actor who is also in this episode an actor who came here It’s Teacher Li Mengjie It’s because just like you said earlier, it’s about this matter. It’s a really trivial thing. And before, when I was writing this bit, a lot of people reminded me, or even questioned me, saying, “Such a small thing, are you really going to keep writing about it?” “What’s there to write about?” Then, someone recommended to me Teacher Li Mengjie, who posted online a bit about “1818 Golden Eye,” about 30 minutes long. It was a comedy bit. It was also about a trivial matter, but it was told in a really interesting way. Yes. He told it very vividly, and it was really entertaining. After I watched it, I felt really inspired. That’s why I continued You’ve already done it, yes. Very good. Let’s welcome once again Xinyu back to the stage. Let’s take a look at Zhou Xinyu and Li Wen, and the number of votes they received. Li Wen: 254 votes. Advances to the next round. Xinyu needs to keep waiting in the pending area. That’s good. The next two to face off in a PK are Xiaokuai and Xu Zhisheng.